A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A couple of months ago, my best mate told me that his girlfriend's best mate fancied me. His girlfriend then set me up with her best friend and we started chatting and getting to know each other through MSN and Myspace, and both realised we liked each other. We then started dating. First time we went to the cinema, second time out for a meal. We then kissed on our second date and i knew that i had completely fallen for her and liked her a lot.The next day she texts me to say that she is confused and doesn't want a relationship at the moment. I was devastated and asked her why and she said that she had just recently come out of a relationship with someone else and didn't think she was ready for another. She said she needed some time to herself.I'm not that good with these things but I thought to myself that I had done something wrong, maybe kissed her too much, or had said something wrong to her.Her best friend had told me that she doesn't put a lot of trust in a guy because she had been used by other guys in the past.I told her that I would never use a girl for my benefit in anyway and she could always trust me, I would always be here for her.3 months on, I still really like her but we've only chatted a few times since and I really would love to get back with her, but I don't know how to do it.Have i given her enough time to herself?What do I say to her?Was she telling me the truth when she broke up with me or was she trying to say nicely that she didn't like me?Did she think I was using her?Please help because I want her back more than anything in the world. Thankyou.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for the advice thathotgirl20, it sounds gd to me and hopefully it will work! Thanks!
A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (20 November 2007):
 I guess she was not much impressed by you. May be she did not like much enough. I dont think you had enough space and time to get to know each other so that she might have had to chance to really like you. So simply judged you superficially on how you looked and kiss and chitchatted.
The only way you could get her back is through starting all over again by trying to be friends and get to know each other and see how it goes.
You may want to just ask her to do something together just like friends. If you try to please or charm her she would not go back to you.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (20 November 2007):
 Awwwwwwwwww....This is what I think is going on....things were probably moving way too fast for her when yall kissed on the second date. I think three months is a long enough time. You can't wait for her forever, but tell her that if yall do go out, you won't expect anything from her, but just her company. I think it depends on the way in which she was used that certain things might trigger her "flight instinct." Tell her that she doesn't have to kiss you, hug you, etc, but that you just want some time to get to know her, whether it be as a friend, or if she goes out with you as your gf. Tell her, if you are scared, and you want me to leave, I will, just say so. Good luck.
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