A
male
age
36-40,
*hadybaby123
writes:I have been with a women for almost two years and finely after almost to years she has came out with the truth. that the first month we got together she had cheated on me with her step brother. i think its wrong i mean step brother or not they lived together sens they were young so its like family. i dont know how to deal with this it makes me feel nasty on the is side. its like the hole time we were together was one big lie. what should i do? i don't no if theres more then him. its eating me alive in side. i asked her why she did it an she said she didn't know why. i asked her why she didnt tell him to stop and she said i don't know why. i bealve she knows she just don't want to tell me. what do you think? plzz help i dont know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): The only thing I can think of that you migth have done sexually that made her have sex with her stepbrother is something sexual she might have done with him that reminded her of that, and she couldn't resist doing that sexual thing with him again. Like I said before, I think she might've had sex with him before you ever started dating her. Do you know if she is still having sex with him?
One way to get the reason out of her might be to talk to her in a very comforting and reassuring way. Tell her you love her, and that no matter what her answer is as to why she cheated on you with her stepbrother, you will understand, and you will still love her, no matter what. Tell her you won't judge her or be mad at her for what she did or why she did it, but that you need to know, otherwise it will cause bitterness and jealousy in your relationship with her.
I guess if all else fails, and you know how to reach her stepbrother, you can threaten to call him and ask him why he had sex with his stepsister, or threaten to call her parents about it, because you've got to know and understand what is going on inside her mind that caused her to cheat on you with her stepbrother. Offer to go to couples counseling with her to resolve this problem. Again, you can always tell her that if she doesn't tell you, then your relationship with her is over, and you can't forgive her. Tell her that understanding is the key to forgiveness and moving on. You need to get to the bottomn of this, and she needs to rebuild the trust she violated with you.
A
male
reader, shadybaby123 +, writes (28 August 2008):
shadybaby123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe wont tell me why she did it. it makes me sad she said she didnt get eny thing out of the sex that night. or ever. it makes me mad that im sad over this. could it be something i did sexshaly to make her have sex with her stepbrother? what could some of the resons be that she did sleep with him? why would she do it if she never had eny thing befor from him?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): This kind of thing is quite common. I've read a lot of posts from girls who said they had sex with their stepbrothers. In your girlfriend's case, it sounds like they may have been having sex for quite some time before she met you, since she and her stepbrother grew up together. Since they are not blood-related, there was more of a tendency for them to be attracted to each other.I think you should tell her to tell you the reason why she cheated on you with him, or that you will break up with her, and then she can just go on and continue her sexual relationship with her stepbrother.One reason she may have done this is the taboo factor. It is not technically incest since they are not blood related, but society often frowns on step-siblings having sex because they live like a blood-related family, even though they are not.
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A
female
reader, starismine1 +, writes (27 August 2008):
 As much as her morally questionable behavior with her step-brother bothers you, you have to put that whole issue aside. The real issue for you is about trusting her. You cannnot trust her and believe her and that's not just because of the step brother situation. Think about how she relates to you and makes you feel. Most likely, she hides other things from you as well. Does she flirt alot with other guys? Is she never accountable for her time when you don't see her? Do you have to buy her love? Is it really just her cheating with her step brother that's the issue? If that revelation never happened, do you really think you'd feel good about the relationship? How do you feel about yourself when you're with her? Set aside the step-brother situation because you have a bigger fish to fry, and that's whether you feel fulfilled emotionally with her at all.
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