A
female
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*arla3683
writes:my son's dad as got intouch after 10years..... well my sons dad as made contact over Facebook after 10 years of being absent. i agreed to meet and talk about things. He cancled the meet the night before i thanked him for letting me know and not just not turning up.my problem now is that he as sent me some messages accusing me for him not seeing his son, which aint the case as i have never said he could not see him. when i replyed back with this is not about mine yours past its about your son. and he replyed with we have a lot to talk about take care catch up soon.it as been two weeks and i havent heard anything from him and my son is getting upset i dont know what to say to him to get him to come and see his son i have messsaged him several times and havent had a reply! any advice on what i should do??thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): My mother recently gave me some good advice regarding this situation. I just had a baby boy of my own (5 months) whose father is always flaking out on spending time with him. He's too young to notice now but one day...he will.
Anywho! My mom has said 1. get him on child support (which you have already done) and 2. don't tell the child if the father is planning on comming. Let it be a suprise because if he doesn't show, then the child will be dissapointed. That is for future reference for you
For now...I don't think you should address the fact that his father doesn't want to see him. His mind isn't mature enough to handle that fact yet.
If I were you I would just tell him you can't reach him but you will keep trying and leave it at that. Maybe your son is better off not getting involved with this man? Even if he is his father.
Also don't bad mouth your son's father around your son. No matter how much you are tempted too. (Not saying you do this) But it could be damaging. My father hasn't said two words to me since I was 6 months and I am now 22. My mom hasn't said one bad thing about him except "man he really missed out on some great kids".
Just a few words of advice. Good luck with everything!
A
female
reader, carla3683 +, writes (18 June 2012):
carla3683 is verified as being by the original poster of the question hi thank you for you advice,
he does pay csa not enough mind but still pays..... its all confusing how do i tell my ten year old son (again) that his dad is not interested it will break his heart so i feel i have to keep trying till he eventually comes :( x
he was married with kids but apperently have split up recently and he contacted me so why wud someone ignore there chance of meeting there child after 10years! x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): dont let him waltz back into your sons life until your sure he is not going to dump on him protect your child from any unecessary suffering
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 Do the two of you share any kind of custody agreement?
Do you receive Child Support?
Stop messaging him. He seems rather like a flake. Or is he perhaps in a relationship and his SO isn't happy about getting in touch with you/your son?
And honestly, don't feel that you NEED to justify his accusations. He is the one who hasn't been in contact for 10 years. He CHOSE to stay away.
I would do whatever you need to do to protect your son. If he is being such a flake with you, how will he be with your son?
Good luck.
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