A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what sex is and I am tired of being laughed at for being a kiss less virgin at 21(22 in 2 weeks)I only want to get physical with a girl I love and people think this means I want the perfect setting before engaging in blissful and passionate sex. and this is not true, I simply don't want to be with just anyone and want to give myself time to know them and fall in love with them before I sleep with them. However,having seen the way people in my country behave makes me believe that 1. they need to have sex on a constant 2. they will cheat if they don't get it 3. they will cheat even if they get it and 4 sex is just physical. I don't want to behave like this and I pray I never do. With all of this in my face I can't see myself trusting someone with my heart at any stage. I have seen too much and I have lost faith and confidence in myself and them because of it.I want to take a leap of faith but I am struggling to do it because I still have a little hope in people but I will lose it if I am proven correct on their behaviorI would like some advice on what to do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2012): hello,first off i understand what your going through, i was still a virgin at 21 and a lot of people could not understand that i didnt want to lose it to just anyone. luckily at 22 i found someone who i adored, and i know i made the right choice for myself in waiting for him. so please dont be discouraged by what other people say, you should always do what is right or you.you must not lose your faith the moment something doesnt go quite right. we all have our moments. try placing that faith in the fact that there is someone right our there, someone who is on the same page as you.take the leap, you will never know if you dont try. and if it doesnt go the way you want at least you will know better for next time.i hope this helps
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (21 December 2012):
The bottom line is this: you can't prevent bad things from happening to you, you can only try and do your best to limit them.
That means don't date just anybody. Don't date somebody who finds sex to be more important than you.
Obviously if you're not like that it's safe to say that there are girls out there who are the same way, probably even wishing they could find a guy like you.
When I was your age I was hurt by someone who I cared about but I got over them once I realized that we just weren't meant for each other. I quickly found another girl who was 10x better.
When you're young it's not hard to get over things like that, the only important relationship in the end is to the woman you marry. Make sure she's the ideal women for you. Girlfriends come and go!
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