A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This is an update on Is he having or had an affair? posted on 28th January. Thank you Tuatara for your excellent advice. Not much has been happening in recent weeks, i even asked my husband if anything had happened, he strongly denied it and i accepted it. However today i found out that when my husband went to Prague on business (Monday 17th March) she was there too. Of course he has not told me, he does not know that i know. He sent her a text that evening saying which pub he was in. (He deleted his inbox but does not realise that his sent messages are saved)last weekend he was awful to me and consequently we are barely speaking. To make matters worse it was our sons birthday on Monday when he was in Prague, i thought he was horrible last weekend to me because he felt bad about being away, now i wonder?? By the way i was fine about him going to Prague, i said to him when he realised that he was away then that it did not matter and our son was fine with it too. I don't know what to do?, we had been getting on well until last weekend, we seemed to be happy in every way. She is single with no kids, just has her career, is around my age. I looked on Friends Reunited back in January and she was on there with a photo. She looks older than her years, is nothing to look at at all and at the time i thought there is no way he would go with that. But if it is offered on a plate who knows.....
View related questions:
affair, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): You have worries, and I would too!! BUT remember I said you need to monitor and collect the information and then work out how it all fits together.
Don't do anything at the moment. See if he talks about going out to the pub. Don't let him know you saw the txts.
His manner prior is something also to monitor. I know how hard this is and I can honestly and truly tell you, you have to be patient and not immediately jump to the wrong conclusions. Remember I suggested the diary. DAILY.
The thing is this is going to drive you insane with worry. The hardest thing to do is keep it all together. But the benefits of doing that, keeping it all together even though your going nuts, are EMORMOUS. Either this will turn out to be something which is off in respect to your husbands behaviour, or, he may be thinking about it but not acted, or, he may put a stop to something and finding it all a bit uncomfortable, or, he may be perfectly innocent.
All of the things you already know are now your tools. Unfortunately he has not yet provided anything which you can confront him on. If you did bring up what you know, it can be easily redirected in it's context.
As I say, I know this is bloody hard to do. Keep writing to get release here - we can work through it with you so you don't make rash decisions and regret things.
YOU HAVE LOTS OF GIRLFRIENDS AND BOYFRIENDS HERE TO THRASH OUT THE EVIDENCE!!!
Keep everything you notice written down to go over.
Stay in touch. You have done really well so far with the uncertainty you had and don't forget it, it almost becomes instinctive when something is up. It is always best though to know what it is!
God Bless xxxxx
A
female
reader, Bean317  +, writes (21 March 2008):
If he would be open and honest, it would be completely different. BUT he's not being honest with you, he's being selfish and stringing you and your son along. Thats not right
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): Hi Hunny
I dont no if Im going to make sense here but when my husband was having an affair he was quiet horrible and would cause arguments for no reason. And this was out of character..And this is how I new i just new that there was something he was hiding as he had no need to be nasty to me at all, I asked him on several occations to say what was on his mind, But no!!!!Then I over heard a phone call with this girl he said I dont want you to phone again if she new she would kill me!!!!! That was it for me....I waited to the monday this happened on a saturday our 1rst wedding anniversary and as soon as he sent me credit I told him his bags were packed...Simple dont take the piss out of me!!!!! never have I seen him again apart from trying to sort out the divorce....DONT BE A DOORMAT DONT BE A SLAVE TO THERE NEEDS BE YOUR OWN PERSON!!!!!!Yea it hurts but you get strong and he pleaded to come home...NO!!!!!!!! Im to strong for that bullshit hunny and ive got children and im not having my children hurt by mindless fools who dont think before they shag simple as, I may come across as hard but im not im strong because ive had to be hunny TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
|
