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female
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*oveisapain
writes: how do i break up with him and get things back to the way they were when we were good friends? i dont get it i can normally break up with a guy and not feel terrible but this one i just cant we were really good friends b4 we started going out and i am afraid that i let things go too far for us to be friends like we used to be?????? what do i say to him???? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (25 June 2006):
 Hi there,
It is always difficult to end a relationship with someone that has been a very good friend initially and to get things back the same level of friendship as before.If you hope to do so note that the process of restoring your friendship might be a gradual one and try not to expect too much too soon.
The bottom line though is that if he still loves you, he'll hate being dumped and may be very angry indeed. But there are ways to soften the blow. Speak to him and see your reasons without blaming him, or yourself. Allow him to note that you still have respect for him and value his friendship.whatever you do make it clear it is really over if that is what you want or you may leave him hanging on .
Take care now and all the best.
A
male
reader, seamus +, writes (25 June 2006):
It sounds like you don't seem to interested in pursuing any kind of serious relationship from the way you describe how easy you have found it to break up with previous boyfriends. I fear you may have led this person on. He obviousley wanted you as more than a friend innitially if he is now your boyfriend and maybe you did'nt think entering into a relationship with him in the first place through properly. From personal experience I have never been able to "go back to the way things were before we were together" and I'm afraid my opinion is based on this. You cannot go back, only forward and I think the best thing to do is be honest about how you feel and give him space to adjust. Maybe then, after a while you two could forge a new friendship based on understaning. Just be careful because there's nothing worse than someone who goes from being your girlfriend to a friend so suddenly that it seems they would rather deny anything ever really happened between the two. tell the truth and give him time and space.
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