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writes: Try to keep it short..my wife of 10 years all of a sudden tells me she wants to be alone.It came as a shock to me as I thought things were getting better between us (some rough patches) she feels she needs time to discover herself and does not want me around, saying she does not love me anymore and she has been thinking about this for some time now. I feel we could or should try more. if i walk away from this as is, i will feel that we have not tried everything to save our relation. the marriage as such does not worry me, she says the chemistry is gone , she does not feel romantic towards me anymore and refuses counselling as she feels that she has tried and besides "what is a counsellor going to do or say to bring the chemistry back" help...any kind of ideas, guidance etc welcome Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2006): You sound so broken hearted. I am sorry, hun. You can't make her love you...but you can be someone who is lovable. However, it really sounds like has made up her mind and she's determined. First of all, you both need to talk and find out what's happened deep within your marriage to make her stop loving you. You may find out things that she's kept to herself about you, that you need to know. In which case, you may hear things about what you have NOT done to help this marriage survive. I am a strong believer that it takes two to make a marriage work. Then there's a possibility there could be someone else. Usually this is the biggest reason for a spouse to say no to counseling. If communicating doesn't work then you have no choice, but to let her go and do what she needs to do. It's a huge risk but if you back off she may find out she really misses you. Back off a bit and let her breath and that will give her the time to see if she really can live her life, without you. Good luck, dear.
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