A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:As some of you here know my ex broke up with me 2 months ago but we've been going in and out of contact since about 3 weeks ago when she initiated contact with me asking whether I'm thinking about her and missing her. She was very eager to talk that week so we did. Then another week and a half went by of NC until I messaged her asking questions regarding why she was eager to speak with me the week before. Since the questions were getting me no where I stopped, then 2 days later (last night) she messaged me asking what I'm doing at the current time. She only ever ask me what I'm doing when she has the intention to talk to me so perhaps she was wanting me to call her. Thing is I never wrote back. I was too tired and not sure exactly what to say.The purpose of this question is whether or not I'm doing the right thing. I don't want to ignore her but neither do I want to be too available to her cause I don't want to end up in the friend zone. I do really love this girl and would want her back so I'm trying to do my best here. What would be the recommended amount of time to respond to her messages? Also if she calls do I pick up? Or do I call her back or not call her back and wait until she calls again? I could really use some tips.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 May 2010):
 Normally I would say : sure,go ahead,call her back within 24 hours- out of simple politeness.
But by her actions your ex has made abundantly clear that she wants to dictate terms and conditions for your communication. If she feels like talking to you, you are supposed to jump- if she is not so keen on talking, she'll keep you waiting forever or give you the runaround.
So, now I'd try to turn this around. Let her sweat a little . Show her you are not her lapdog.Don't be afraid that she may feel you are ignoring her- in fact,unluckily I think this would be the only thing that can pique her interest at this time.
A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (9 May 2010):
Look it is over ignore her or tell her to naff off and leave you alone.This action is normal while she hangs on to for a while just in case things go not work out?Say Bye Bye to her forever, do not ever contact me again - erase the number and block it. I managed to take that action after 30 years of marriage.Your best you do for yourself!
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