A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:First off, i am a junior in high school.My ex-boyfriend and i have been on and off for a little over a year now. (we've only been "off" for about 2 months over all) We started going out in February of this year again. We became isolated from our friends and others, remaining eachother's "best friend." Now, in august of last year i met "paul" who soon became one of my best friends. While "jack" and i were on a break in november, paul and i hooked up. (not sex; @ this point i was still a virgin) Later, i told jack about this and i took it upon myself to distance myself from paul. I lost my virginity to Jack in February. Anyway, during April Paul and I started talking once again (this is while Jack and I were going out) and long story short, i ended up having sex with Paul, multiple times. Jack and I's relationship continued till the middle of May before we broke up once again, due to him being controlling. (within good reason, yet he did not know anything at this point.) Paul and i tried to date after-the-fact, yet this was not possible for me because I was deeply still in love with Jack. Paul understood and to this day we remain the best of friends (with absolutely NO benefits) Meanwhile, Jack and i started talking again and i felt it would be unfair if we were to get back together without him knowing, so i told him a few days ago. He was very calm, (for the most part) partly because i think he had a hunch about it. He later said that if i ever wanted a relationship with him i have to prove it to him over the next couple of weeks that i CAN change. Although i did not think it would come to this (stupidly..) he made it clear last night that if i wanted to remain friends with Paul i would remain friends with him as well. If i wanted more, i would have to drop Paul. I love jack with all my heart; and want to be with him more than anything but Paul and i have been through SO much together, with many different things and i just cannot simply "drop him" what do i do?and what are some other ways i can prove to jack that i can change?please dont critizize my use of the word "love" seeing as how i am only a junior in high school. Only helpful replies wanted.Anything would be appreciated. thank you guys.
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a break, best friend, broke up, cheated on my boyfriend, get back together, lost my virginity, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): Seems to me that you want have your cake and eat it too. My advice is to break things off with Jack and stop being friends with Paul. You have caused alot of pain because of your selfishness. All of y'all are at fault. Y'all are young and will learn in time. I don't like cheaters, so I think you need to leave both of them alone. Move on. And stop hurting others.
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