A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need help here please. i am an 18 year old who is about to get married, ive had lots of friends with benefits in the past and 2 serious boyfriends. I love my 22 year old boyfriend so much i feel and im sure he is the one for me. We love each other a lot !he has been through a lot with women in his past... I want to get married because i love him and he loves me but im scared of divorce.. I know a lot of people who had divorced parents. my parents were never divorced an they've been together for 20 years. I also heard that marriage can make some changes between married ones.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): I am 38 and when I think about who I dated when I was 18... I am a very different person now. I thought I loved my boyfriend back then but you are at a time in your life when you will be doing lots of changing... I suggest waiting if you are scared. There is no reason you can't still date but 18 is very young to be getting married. Best of luck..
A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (23 May 2011):
 At 18, I dont understand where you got the time to have several friends with benefits AND two serious relationships before this guy!
What do you call a serious relationship exactely?
How long have you been in a relatonship? Do you live together? Do you share bills etc?
I think if you actually understood what marriage was, you would be smart enough to wait a few years.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (23 May 2011):
 18 is awfully young to be getting married. If you're concerned about divorce, you should wait a few more years to make sure this is really what's best. Marriages have a much better chance of surviving if you wait until you're in your mid twenties. If you know he's the one and you'll be together forever, there's no harm in waiting a few more years, because you'll still be together. Also it's probably safest to wait until you've been together at least two years (you didn't say how long you've been together).
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 How long time do you have left to think? When is the date set? Is it possible you might cancel or postpone it, and give yourself and your fiancé more time together before taking that bog step?
How old were you in your past relationships that you call serious? What made those relationships serious?
It is hard for me to understand as I didn't start dating and having boyfriends until I was around 18. Before I was 19 nothing of that was even serious... So I don't understand where you could have the experience with having serious relationships, when as a teenager you are young and immature by nature. Your brain isn't actually fully developed until you are around 23 (25 for the guys).
Are you sure you are ready? This might still be the guy for you, but marriage puts extra stress on the relationship. If you're not yet ready, the marriage could be going better if you waited a couple more years.
Talk about your fears with your parents. They must be the experts on how to keep a marriage last, their advice should come in handy. It would be even better if your fiancé came along with you to listen to your parents advice.
Remember you can never predict the future. All you can do is give the marriage the best you have, and work hard and not give up. If divorce is not an option, then there will be no divorce. But of course, you'd not want to be married and unhappy, so your fear isn't actually off getting a divorce. You're afraid that you and your husband will grow apart.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011): Please RELAX! Marriage and change go hand in had, change and getting older do to! But, keep in mind it's all about your combine attitude!!! If the two of you go into this committed to each other (don't assume, talk about it!) and communicate that regardless what happens you're there for one another odds are very high that your relationship will blossom to an even greater level than it is now! Ask folks that have been happily married two things... did your relationship grow even stronger and if so, to what do you attribute it to?Communication is key- share your desires, hope, dream and fears... talk, talk, talk! But don't forget to listen!Marriage can be (is!) the greatest thing, but it is NOT effortless! You're going to get out of it what you put into it! So- start banking good stuff into it!ENJOY!
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