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age
30-35,
*ustsaysarah
writes:Alright so I am seventeen years old. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. I don't have a job but am vigorously looking. My boyfriend has a job with very few hours and min. wage. I just found out yesterday that I am about 17 weeks pregnant. I know keep the baby for me and my boyfriend to raise is not an option because neither of us are emotionally ready or financialy. Even though I wish by some miracle I could. Right now I am down to two options, gettin rid of it or adoption. The only problem with adoption for me is I don't know if I am ready to go through a whole pregnancy or to give up my baby after it is born. Even though I already know someone who would adopt it and love it. I'm just completly torn. I mainly think this is because I want to keep it so badly but know I can't. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (5 March 2009):
 Congratulations! Your baby is lucky to be surrounded by many loving aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas! :-)
Cat
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reader, justsaysarah +, writes (5 March 2009):
justsaysarah is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all the help! i have decided to keep the baby and i have tremendous support from everyone, even people i did not think i was going to recieve it from. because of the financial situation my boyfriend and i are in, my parents have offered to pay for everything until we are capable. so thanks for everyones help. as of now the baby an i are very healthy and everything is going as it should be.(:
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): I'm 15, and i havent realy got any advice for you except this - Thoroughly research abortion before you choose that option. After learning about it in school, i could NEVER go through with it. Seriously, then you'll be able to decide.Good luck :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): I have a 19 year old sister who just had a baby last week. I would have never thought that my parents/step parents would have been so supportive. I know she must have been terrified when she told her mom about it, but guess what? My parents have been completely understanding and supportive, and are taking active roles in the baby's life. She is still able to continue college and work based on her support system. Not everyone is so fortunate, and I realize this, but the other side of the spectrum is that her mother (my step mom) had several abortions before having my sister, and almost aborted her as well. It haunts her to this day. I won't impress my personal beliefs and views on you, but my advise is to speak with your parents and boyfriend, and decide on what is best for both you and the baby. You may be surprised at the love and support you just might encounter. Either way, it needs to be your personal decision but you should seek the advice of your loved ones even more than those of us complete strangers :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): Well I think you might be a little too late to get an Abortion. Most of the Abortion Clinics will only let you have one if your under 13 weeks pregnant. So your only choices now are Adoption or Keeping the baby. If you think that you wont be able to give it up for Adoption, and/or want to keep the baby, you can do it. There are a ton of teen mothers out there that do it everyday. I am 22 years old and I have 3 kids, ages 4, 2, and 6 months. It's really hard, I'm not going to lie. It's not a glamorous job at all, but if you really want to keep your baby than you can do it, you'll find a way. There are ton of organizations out that can help you until you can get on your feet. But if you decide you want to give your baby up for Adoption than that's okay too, if you think that's what is going to be best for your baby than you should do it. It's all up to you, and it's your decesion. Don't let anyone else choose for you. Just make sure you go through all your options, and make sure that you are sure about what you want to do and what will be best for your baby before you decide anything. It's not about you or your boyfriend anymore it's about that little one that your carrying. Good Luck with whatever you decide.
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reader, wonderingcat +, writes (19 February 2009):
First of all, please make sure that if you were to have an obortion, you are still within the "safety" limit of it. Like any invasive medical treatment/procedure (of which this would be one), there are risks - both physical as well psychological - involved. And needless to say, please have the abortion at a reputable clinic/hospital, that will have counsellors available for you to help you go through the "emotional pain". That said, another option is of course adoption. Again, the risks also involve physical and psychological. Physically, your body will change in shape, and different women have different "return rate" back to their pre-pregnant figure. Some get their fantastic figure back within 3 months without any extra efforts other than the normal 24/7 triple over-time unsalaried job of tending to the baby's needs. Others continue to retain their "baby fat". It is both genetics as well as a balanced inputs/outputs of energy in our daily life. During pregnancy, you also need to be more careful in what you do (or where you go) to make sure that your foetus is safe. Pyschologically, as you already pointed out, you might get so attached to your baby that it would be hard to part with him/her upon birth. Perhaps you can also look into options where you are legally allowed to have access to the potential parents should you decide to give it up for adoption? If this is done properly and legally, 20-30 years from now your child and you may one day reunite and you will have given it a chance to have two sets of loving parents!I personally would opt of adoption, since I was a "product" of one LOL. As a kid, I went through a short period of emotional roller coaster when I found I was given away, but after many many discussions (through tears) I now feel I am most fortunate to have been adopted. I think you can search in this site for other inputs on adoption vs abortion. Just in the last week, there were two questions already, so please click on these two links:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-pregnant-and-do-not-want-children-do.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/pros---cons-for-adoption--.htmlGood luck, and I hope you make the right decision, for yourself, based on your own circumstances and your own capacity. Lots of warm hugs! (well, your b/f can do that for me) LOLCat
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reader, angeleyes4281 +, writes (19 February 2009):
I can understand where you're coming from. Because my cousin was also 17 when she was pregnant, and she was working at a fast food place and her bf had no job. My family all tried to get her to get an abortion, because she was too young, in school, and she just wasn't ready. But you know what my cousin did? She ignored everyone, and listened to her heart. She refused to have an abortion and kill a child that was growing inside her. She's the one who had sex, and she was going to deal with what happened. Its been about a year now, and she still works at the fast food place. She goes to high school, and takes care of her baby. Her mother is there to help her. I know jobs are hard to come by right now. And I am totally against abortions. And to give up a baby after its born, is just as hard as getting an abortion. If someone is able to help you take care of the baby, and you can get a job, then it would be great if you can keep it. But if not, you said there is already someone who is willing to adopt it. If you really want to keep this child, you will find a way to take care of it. It will come to you. I wish all the best for you. Good luck with whatever you decide!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): Someone once told me that, in life, when you're faced with a difficult choice and you don't know the right path to follow, you should try to project yourself 10 or 20 years into the future and try to imagine which choice you will feel most proud of. Sometimes the right choices aren't easy, but you feel drawn to them because you have a sense that they are right for you, and if you pass them by for the sake of convenience, it can haunt you.I don't think there's a universal answer to your dilemma, but given the facts you've presented in your post, I do think the right choice for YOU is quite clear. It just isn't the choice that seems the easiest.Be strong, be brave, and above all, be selfless enough to do what is best for your child. That will be the course of action that you'll be able to be proud of when you look back on your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): hun, i know how you feel... its really tough, but its for the best, if you dont think you are ready then i would say adoption. No one on here can really make that choice for you, we can give our opinions and show you our way of thinking, but in the end, its something you and your boyfriend have to agree on. I dont think that abortion is the right way to go, i dont think killing a child is ok, i think you should just go through with it. There is a thing called open adoption.... its when you can still have a life and love the child, but someone else is legally responsible... i think the way you are feeling that is you best option, because you can still love the child, be around your baby, and have a relationship with him/her.. but someone else can make sure he/she gets what he/she needs for life.... (clothes, food, bed, shelter, school.. etc)as far as pregnancy, yes it is a big thing, and its scary... it is a very scary thing to do, but at the same time..... abortion is scary.... abortion they break a hole in the skull of the head, and suck out with a vacume the brains, and insides, and then cut up the bones and vacume it out basically.... i dont think thats a good thing to do... i am not trying to scare you, but maybe you should google search images of abortion, and get more information on it.... staying pregnant and giving up the baby for adoption i think is the best method, but you will need support of your family and your boyfriend...i dont know you or your family and again i cant make that choice for you, but maybe get sum more information on the topic.. best of luckxoxox
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reader, prettypinkiebaby +, writes (19 February 2009):
 well, this is very difficult. but i think u should try and keep it:1-ask family for money2-loans3-get multiple jobs no matter what they areif u get rid of it its like killing an inocent life. i mean its part of u and ur man. its a beautiful thing. dont give it away. i mean adoption can b risky and its heart breaking. i think the best option is-if u kant keep it-abortion. please let me know how things go!
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