A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Please help.. I have been in a loving relationship with my girlfriend for a few years, she is completely different to anyone else I have been with, but I cannot help finding an attraction to her twin sister.I have never been someone to cheat as I have had my heart broken in this way before, and pride myself on not being a cheat.I dont honestly think I would cheat on her, but cannot help thinking about this attraction I have.. I dont think she is a particularly nice person personality wise.. and cannot put my finger on why I am attracted.The situation is aggravated by the fact that my old best friend had started dating her, which caused a massive rift because he did this behind his previous girlfriends back, who we all got on with quite well.. this resulted in myself and my girlfriend moving away to be closer to my work and put some space between us and our former circle of friends.I find it hard to deal with the fact that my old best friend loves and dates my girlfriends identical twin, so perhaps this is something I need to deal with..In recent weeks, we have buried the hatchet over the past and started seeing each other.. I still hold a massive grudge about this, and I am still quite sore about it all.I feel that this friendship is something that my girlfriend really wants as she wants to spend time with her twin, so I suck it up and go along with it, so that we may go out partying and drinking as this is our only outlet.I am gradually feeling less comfortable with the situation because this means that we have to stay over at my girlfriends sisters house, which she now shares with my old best friend.If I could, I would block out all feelings and attractions for her sister, and would consider it a problem solved.. but I am finding this extremely hard.Is this attraction normal where twins are concerned?? Anyone else in a similar situation? Any advice or insight you can provide into this would help me immensely.Many ThanksB
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have had a long chat with my girlfriend and basically told her how uncomfortable I have been spending time with her twin and my old friend, considering the upset they have caused in the past.I have also admitted that I still harbor some resentment about everything, but that this will not affect my girlfriend spending time with her twin, and I will drive her there any time she wants.. just wont socialise with them often.I guess im more wondering about this twin attraction thing.. Looks would be the most obvious thing about twins, but its really not that for me...I guess I will have to look deeper to find out what this attraction may also stem from, and cut it off.. also with the advice you kind folks have provided, im sure I can do this!I hope you understand I have no intention of cheating and wont (never had in my life), just merely wanting to understand why these things just happen.Thanks for all your kind words .. I really appreciate it :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): Hey man,
Sounds like the twin is someone you might have a fantasy about but you wouldnt want to be with.
Ill be honest with you though you need to stop fantasising about her for two reasons.
1, she is your friends current GF, she is off limits now and forever.
2, she is your GF sister she is off limits now and forever
3, she is not a nice person and cheats, your better than that arent you
Keep telling yourself that and be gald you arent going out with her and fantasising about the nice girl.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): b, what ever the attraction - look at it from this angle. this twin had no qulams about cheating with the current man she is dating (he had a gf at that time). keep reminding yourself that she is prone to cheating and that she is not morally sound.
this will help you see her in the real light and not any misconceptions you have about her.
i really don't know about he twin thing so maybe the other aunts can help.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 September 2009):
It sounds like two things. 1 - you're wanting to hurt that old best friend, and his new girlfriend is the answer.2 - the sister sounds like the bad girl whilst your girlfriend is the good one.Plough all your energy into your girlfriend. She's the better of the two and dont forget it. That's all I can say really. Hope that's a bit helpful.
...............................
|
