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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi,There's a guy at my work who was my supervisor when I first started. We got on well and I grew to respect him. After a while I got the feeling he liked me because of the way I would sometimes catch him smiling in my direction, and when I would overhear him talking about me to our colleagues in a complimentary way. We have a similar sense of humour and there would be a bit of lighthearted flirting between us but we were always professional and nothing more happened. After a while I felt like there was some sexual tension developing between us and he started to talk to me less and less. At first I was quite hurt but then I got the impression it was the only way he could work with me. We never discussed what was happening. One day a friend of mine was chatting to him and discovered that he had a longterm girlfriend. I was surprised as he had never mentioned a girlfriend to me but I later discovered that he had occasionally mentioned her to a few colleagues. He had never actually done anything to directly indicate that he liked me and so I decided I must have imagined the whole chemistry between us.A few weeks later I was due to change departments and he went away on an overseas trip for a month. It gave me time to put things behind me and I got on with work. When he returned he became the supervisor of one of my male friends. One evening a group of us were chatting about secret admirers and my friend was slightly drunk and let slip that his supervisor really liked and admired me a lot. Then he went quiet and said he shouldn't have said anything.I have a dilemma now. I respect and like this guy enormously. I know he is not the sort of person who would cheat on his girlfriend which is one of the reasons I respect him. Also, although we had flirted slightly he had actually stopped this when it had the potential to cause problems. I do not want to ruin someone's relationship and I do not believe in cheating. However, I know there is the potential of a great relationship between us. I don't know how things are going with his current girlfriend but it's obvious that he has talked about me a lot with my friend.should I just let things go because he's in a relationship, or should I try to find out how things are going with his girlfriend because I don't know if they are still together.Has anyone been in a similar situation or got any advice on how to deal with this? Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2006): I think I would try to get to know him a bit better by chatting more to him, not necessarily flirting but friendly. Make sure you go on every night out (and he's going to) as always easier to chat with a few drinks after work then you can casually ask what he would be doing if not at night out and see what his reply would be ie with friends/ girlfriend. Or just come right out and say something like "Why's a nice guy like you not been snapped up the eh?" then you'll know if he is with someone. Hope it works out for you.
Good Luck Wishes
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