A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This question is for someone who has been a player or is currently a player.If a player doesn't get sex from a girl or knows that he won't get sex from a girl,would he stay in contact with her.Should the girl be paranoid if he wants to stay in touch with her.The girl didn't have sex with him.Is it more like unfinished business for him and will try to have her whatever lies he has to say.Any help at all would be appreciated.Thanks for your help in advance.
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (12 May 2010):
 Well, I just always moved on but rarely had to make that decision until recently. lol
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): You're trying to figure yout whether this player who is staying in contact with you is a good guy or a bad one, right?
Well let me make this simple: You've already said he's a player. That's your answer.
Every girl who gets with a player has an excuse for why this time it's different. But it never really is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Yos is right, but he didn't mention that there are also players that see a girl that wants to wait as a challenge.
The tougher the challenge the better and they will devote a lot of time and effort to this one girl because the prize at the end is all the sweeter because they got what others couldn't.
I've known guys to spend a long time on just one girl playing the 'I respect your decision to wait' game only to use her and throw her away when they were done.
The problem is it's hard to tell whether you're being played because the best players know all the right things to say and do, their best trick is to convince a girl that while they've played in the past she's the one that has changed them. The only way to know if someone is a player to find out if they were in the past, we humans are creatures of habit and rarely deviate from past behaviours because that's who we are. This is not always the case as people do change, but it's the safest way to go because the 'with you things are different' ploy is the oldest and most successful trick in the player book.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 A player will typically be talking to as many girls as possible. This has some advantages:
- You don't seem so keen, you can be 'mysterious and unavailable'.
- You can take your time with a girl, she thinks you are 'holding out for her', when in reality you're sleeping with several others while you wait...
- You keep in touch with lots of girls: even if you don't think you'll get sex, just in case the situation changes.
- Not all players will lie to get you into bed. But some will. You can be a 'good guy' and a player: but that just means refusing to be tied down and being honest about it. Comments like 'I'm not looking for a relationship' are the give-away.
It can be very hard to tell the difference between a busy guy who really likes you and is happy to take his time, and a player who is doing that same thing to lots of girls at the same time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): if he is just sticking around for unfinished business then as long as the girl doesn't give in to his sexual desires ... he'll more than likely get bored and soon try chasing some other tail. However if he is staying in touch and is showing the girl respect, no pressure and no exspectation of sex then maybe he is a decent give under the player status :) Although i would advice never trying to change people, people only ever want to change if they want to and no amount of force is likely to do otherwise ... so perhaps, once a player always a player unless he wants to change.
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