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A past 'kissing' indiscretion" is threatening my good relationship with the girl I love! What should I do?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 January 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 January 2007)
A male age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi!

I am a bit confused as what to do..

I have been with my girlfriend about 1 1/2 years and it's been the best time of my life!

About 6 months ago a "friend" of hers kissed me. (not a close friend as you can imagine) Anyway, after she kissed me we kissed again, and that was that! I made it clear to her the next day it was a mistake and that I do not want any relationship with her etc.

I gave in to the guilt and told my girlfriend about her kissing me, although I didn't admit to the second kiss which she later found out about. (which I then admitted to her)

2 months have passed since then and of course, she's not over it in fact, everytime the name is mentioned on TV or cheating is mentioned my day goes all gloomy.

I'm sure this will just take time!

Now my problem!

A friend of the kisser is trying to get in contact with my girlfriend over the internet, someone she has not ever spoken to. Her name (on MSN messenger) is " You need to know.."

Do I need to tell my girlfriend all the details e.g. she was flirty with me before this happened and bring all this back up OR wait to see what this person has to say?

I'm worried she wants to stir up some trouble!!

Possibly for the person who kissed me? Jealousy?*

Sorry it's long..!

thanks!

View related questions: flirt, jealous, kisser, kissing, msn, the internet

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A female reader, DeeDoc United States +, writes (13 January 2007):

DeeDoc agony auntTHESE ARE MY THOUGHTS: Oh my dear. I really feel that you should really look at what happened. You keep saying that SHE kissed you. Well, there was a second kiss. Apparently, you liked a bit of the first one, therefore, there was a second. And YOU kissed her also (both times). I really feel that if your relationship was intact, that you could have prevented the first kiss. You cannot blame your girlfriend for having the feelings she now has. When you finally told her about the incident, you should have told her the WHOLE story about the other girl being so flirty to begin with. But, you have to look within yourself, if another girl comes along, will I do the same? There is a big world out there full of people who tend to want something that is already 'taken'. Your girlfriend is probably getting her feelings out because when you actually FORGIVE someone, you do just that FORGIVE them and move on. FORGETTING is another story. She is having a very hard time forgetting (you cannot blame her). If you really want this relationship to work, you must let it grow, which takes time. She is trying to trust you again. I feel the both of you should sit down and you need to reassure her OFTEN that she is the only girl for you (that's if you really feel this way). She has been hurt and you are not in the position to say, "Okay, she had enough time to get over it." You cannot put a time limit on this. Good luck to you. I wish you the best.

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A female reader, sweetiegirl Canada +, writes (13 January 2007):

sweetiegirl agony auntOk of your girlfriend loves you and all that happened was the two kisses that you admited to her already then you don't have anything to worry about you have nothing to hide. This girl has something to say then don't worry about it, if she tries to start shit then, deal with it when it happens, they are only spreading lies and if your girlfriend loves you, tell her that don't want to risk losing her and that everything that happened you told her about, you didn't want her to hear any surprises so you made sure that she knew everything. So really let this girl say what ever they want as long as you trust your girlfriend and she trusts you. you have nothing to worry about.

hope that helps

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