A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i don't even know where to start. i've know this guy for 1 year and 9mth. During the first year we would see each other once or twice and sometimes not at all. We however at times emailed each other. After a year and 4mth he finally committed to me. At times he doesn't call me; he says he doesn't like to talk on phone and sometimes he needs time to himself (I understand). I am sometimes ok with it but at times when I need to be with him it gets on my nerves. At times after spending the weekend together we make plans to have dinner on Monday after work then he calls and cancels on me. BIG disappointment to for me. Since his last cancellation he called me twice that night and emailed me after I forwarded him an email then I have not heard from him at all. I am starting to feel as if this relationship is one sided and I am running thin on patience. What should I do? Should I let him go? Please help...I am tired Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): One sided relationships will never make you happy and that is how you feel already. A person who is not willing to think about what would you like, how do you feel, what makes you feel comfortable, and how would you feel secure about him/her is not worth of your time. Successful relationships are build with 50/50 commitment. I had a one sided relationship with a man who had skills to bait and switch (?). Very good in courtship but eventually very passive even for kissing and making love. You end up feeling empty and worthless. You are responsible for your own happiness and I am sure that you feel this unevenness because you are used to give and take. His philosophy is more like give ME, I'll take it, and YOU don't ask for much or you'll push me away. There are plenty of man who love the art or loving and committing. Find that one and forget about this one. Or switch you routine with him. When he calls, send him to voice mail and then just reply via text message "sorry I missed your call, I'll try to call you later". But don't call him later!!! Let him keep trying. When he calls back just say, "Hey! I'm in the middle of something, can I call you once I'm done?" And call him hours later. If he disappears after this, it shows he's not the man.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 March 2010):
Wow, that's so funny! It was a good guess, probably because the guy that I've been seeing on and off for about 7 months acts the EXACT same way...typical. And some say astrology is complete BS! lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh my thanks for the responses!!! I was extremely happy when I woke up this morning and read my emails. I want to first say thanks again to everyone who reponded. I can say I do agree with some to everything in certain responses.
pinkt(not sure if I can use your username) I must say that you hit it on the head. He is a virgo, wow what are the chances of you figuring that out. Yep he can be difficult but when we are together oh we have fun and enjoy each others company. I haven't called him since last week Monday and even though I want to call him I am not going to. Just tired and if he really cares about me then it's up to him to come towards me now, as if he wants to be with me.
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A
female
reader, LostGirlAnna  +, writes (28 March 2010):
I read the other review that you should be "patient" and "wait for him". In my opinion thats a load of rubbish. If the guy cant take 5 mins of his lunch break to come and have a chat with you in person or even give you a call or an email when he gets home, then that is not a man worth waiting for.
He obv doesn't want to get too attached or is a workaholic, nobody wants a man who cares more about the report due in a week, rather then caring for your needs.
I say find a good bloke that cant stop calling you because he loves the sound of your voice. Or messages you just to hear how you are. Sure thats not around much anymore, but it's still there, you just have to not gove up.
Good luck
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 I think you should be patient. A busy guy is a sign of being hard working and conscientious. Being able to spend time with your significant other is a luxury, no one should make it a chore, a deadline to meet. There are enough things in life that are mandatory: 1. work 2. looking after elderly parents 3. looking after kids 4. household maintenance Sometimes it's sad to think that when you still have time all you want to do is rest. If you have a good time with him next week, you'll think it's a shame to really let him go.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 If you think he is a disappointment and cannot lived up to your expectations,it is better to let him go and find a better one.
Don't put him on your priorities but only an option.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 March 2010):
Ugh, those are the most annoying kind. Is he a virgo? Haha. Okay besides that foolishness, before you completely dump him, just tell him that you often feel disappointed. It's completely understandable that he needs personal time, we all do and it sounds like you understand that, but if he wants to be in a relationship it is somewhat of an obligation to him to be a good boyfriend to you; otherwise, he might as well be by himself.
Communicate first, let him know that you understand the personal time thing, but that if he wants a relationship with you, he needs to act like he wants to be in the relationship at least! If communicating this to him has no effect and he does nothing, then dump him. We'd like to think he's not that oblivious, but he could be.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): I'm going through the similar situation. Is hard when YOU are the only one doing the whole work and the other person is not trying. I think if they don't try is b/c they don't care and I think I deserve someone who cares too. I'm sorry, I've cried a lot but now I understand that's what I don't want and need. The same can happen to you.
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