A
female
age
30-35,
maggiemay
writes:Parents,Okay, I know what you're thinking. She's 16 years old; why should I be reading this?But I just want to write about something that I really have been noticing with my personal experiences and the experiences of others around me.My friend recently just got an abortion; she didn't tell anyone. She wouldn't go to her mom because her mom doesn't know she's sexually active - and she's been sexually active with her bofriend for over a year. Her parents have drilled into her head that if she has sex it's like they're going to disown her or be disappointed, judge her and make her stop seeing her boyfriend, so therefore she has never talked about it with them and she's not on birth control because she is too scared to go to her parents.My mother has always been very, very open; she has always told me I could go to her about anything including talking about sex and she would never judge me or be mad. She would rather me come to her. So as soon as I was thinking about having sex with my boyfriend first thing I did was go to her. She explained every single thing to me and got me started on the pill. I still go to her about anything I need. My parents are very open and it's helped. Well, look at me, I'm not pregnant, have no STDs or not having sex without a clue. Like anyone is going to read this and listen to it, but I just want to say coming from a teenager's point of view, no matter how much you think and want to believe your child's not going to start having sex at a young age it's going to happen. And if you're open with them and let them know not to be scared to come to you about anything even about the sex factor it will be okay and you're not going to judge them or flip out and make them stop seeing whomever they're having intercourse with. If not your child's most likely going to become pregnant or be having unsafe sex.Most of you who read this probably think you're alredy like this with your child but just think it over and have a chat with them to make sure that you're all on the same page because it worked for me and it worked for my two older sisters. We all went to our mom about sex and none of us are pregnant nor have ever gotten an STD and we're on a succesful path and closer with our mom than ever.Thanks again.
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abortion, std, the pill Reply to this Article
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female
reader, Katy.  +, writes (1 July 2009):
 This is a good article and something I was considering doing myself seen as I'm not open with my family at all, but I wish my mum was morel but it looks like you've bet me to it.
Like another post put, with a bit of editing this could be useful as it's a important issue especially to most of us teenagers; it can be difficult and alot of things happen and it would be nice for my mum especially to ensure I can talk to her about anything I can.
Every parent and every family is different but I think the majority of teens would like to know they can trust their mum with anything, especially when the worst happens.
Katy x
A
female
reader, maggiemay +, writes (16 June 2009):
maggiemay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your suggestions
and for agreeing with my article
im really gratefull people are taking a notice in it and are posting positive comments
i would just hate to see any other 16 yr old go through what my poor friend went to
and how i take my mom for granted sometimes but how lucky i am to have her and so lucky she is the way she is
i know it certainly has helped me a bunch!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): Firstly, you may want to restrain from phrases such as these:
"Most of you who read this probably think you're alredy like this with your child"
"Okay, I know what you're thinking. She's 16 years old; why should I be reading this?"
"Like anyone is going to read this and listen to it"
It makes your reader feel judged and victamized.
Also this:
"no matter how much you think and want to believe your child's not going to start having sex at a young age it's going to happen."
Not true at all. You cannot put every child on the face of the planet into one category.
Other than those things, you make good points. I am a mother and I do plan on acting this way with my child when the time comes.
I wish there was a better place you could post something like this where more parents would see it becuase most of the poeple on this site, from i've seen, are not parents having issues with their children.
Try to think of somewhere, like a church or a store where you could leave a stack of these notices becuase it is an important message to get out there. I would just fix those things that i stated first.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): my dear anonymous and anyone really please DO NOT listen if your parents make idle threats about breaking your relationship up they honestly have no right but good on you for knowing what to do,ignoring your useless mother who cant force you to do anything and for hiding your relationship. as for you maggiemay this is an excellent post and i congratulate you. parents need to realise if you dont help you will probably say 'hiya' to grandkids. x
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A
female
reader, memyself andproblems  +, writes (5 June 2009):
Hello there, and I dont know you but you seem like a really smart girl. I'm sure your friend is happy to know you. I totally agree with you about parents needing to be more open with there children, I know that we as parents feel that if we say too much or not enough we feel like the saying goes "damm if you do, and damm if you dont"...but I personally am greatful to be in this country to be able to have those rights of privacy when it comes to decisions like these about abortion. Frankly I had a few too many of them cause of young age and not able to speak openly with my parents and because they never spoke to me about sex it was like tabo if they said anything and also out of ignorance. I must say that I do spend my life feeling terrible about those choices that I made but for me it was a way out. So yes be opened and go to a clinic and get on the pill and be careful and take care, god loves you! Peace!
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A
female
reader, maggiemay +, writes (4 June 2009):
maggiemay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes im thankful you brought that other option up i totally forgot to mention that
and yes i am extremely lucky to have a mother like mine it helps me get through alot.
i only wish the best of luck for girls with parents like yours and i hope that they mature up and go to a clinic about birth control and other education on being sexually active before they start.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): I'm also your age but my mom is totally opposite from yours. She has specifically told me in the past that if i come to her about birth control before the age of 18 she will force me to stop dating who I'm with. I've been with my boyfriend for a reasonable amount of time and we're in love and I trust him and everything. He's never asked for or pressured me for sex but I'm ready. I want to be as physcially close to him as possible. Instead of doing what most girls do I am going to go out of my way to a family planning clinic and get the exam and a birth control prescription. You can do all of this anonymously and without parental permission. My boyfriend and I will split the cost of the birth control pill. This will be extremely taxing on two sixteen year olds trying to also pay for gas (which is TOTALLY ridiculously priced btw). I just wish that my mother was as understanding as yours, I'm lucky since I'm mature enough on my own to research my options and figure out the best way for me. But most girls our age aren't and I just thought they should know that this is an option. To all the parents that read this and have threatened their children with the "we'll make you two break up" thing; let's just hope you're kids are mature. If not you'll be saying "hello" to grandkids a lot sooner than you thought. If you're kid believes they're in love and wants to physically show their love, whether you think they're in love or not, they will find a way around your rules.
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