A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 1 year has 2 children from his previous marriage. I invited them to to our family Christmas dinner. He came along with his children, but didn't accept the invitation for certain until a few days before Christmas.He was very upset that my parents and brother and sister in law bought more presents for my niece and nephew (their kids and my parents only grandchildren) than for his kids. (I don't have children)He said the children were upset because of what they got compared to my brother's children, and that some of the gifts were age inappropriate. I told everyone beforehand how old the kids are and that they were coming over as soon as I knew for sure and they went out and bought what they chose without any coaching from me. So he is also angry with me for not arranging with them to get better/more appropriate gifts. He gave his children 1 gift each, and nothing to anyone else except me. I think he is being ungrateful and unfair, but he insists that myself and my family are in the wrong. I don't think he's right either. Any opinions?
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male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (22 February 2011):
Is this an argument that has been going on since Christmas? I wonder what your boyfriends side of it is. From your perspective, it seems like you're "in the right" but then again, rarely in relationships is it about who is right and who is wrong.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 Wow, those kids of his must be super spoiled. I think your BF is an asshat.
First of all HE should have provided you with suggestions to gifts, but ASKED you first what you thought about giving them presents.
He EXPECTED everyone else to gift his children, but he didn't gift anyone else? HOW RUDE!
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A
male
reader, Captain Ziggy  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 Sounds like a shitty time all around.
He cant expect your family to drown his children in lavish gifts when you guys have only been together a year. This was probably his first Christmas with you guys.
Its also ridiculous that he would expect other childrens parents to buy just as many gifts for his children as they do theirs. He is the father of his children, it's his responsibility to ensure that he gets his children whatever amount of gifts he deems necessary.
Also. How could he not bring gifts for your parents?!
It's fine if he doesn't have money, I don't have money either; but its inappropriate to accept your girlfriends Christmas dinner invitation with her parents and not bring SOMETHING, anything, $12 box of wine even.
I dunno what to tell you girl... I'm on your side haha.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): i think your boyfriend is definately being unfair and unreasonable, how many times have your family meet his kids? do they have a good relationship with them? i have a boyfriend with 4 kids from a previous marriage and my mum and dad are the only people who get them a few gifts each, how spoilt are these children? do they not appreciate anything? it sounds like your boyfriend is very jealous, is this because he feels lke you and your family have something he wishes he still had? love isnt about how much you buy him and his children its not about how much everyone else gets what should be important is that your family are taking the time to spend their xmas with them
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