A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi, i m a 25 yrs old acrective girl,my problem is that i m in love with a married man he is 43 yrs old.he has one child 14 yrs old.and his marrige is also love marrige.he loves her too much,but he saying he loves me too much also how can its posible...?is it posible...?and me also truly love his. but i hate his wife, m very upset.smtime we both thinking leave each-other and trying also, but no never result was zero.we cant live each-other.have tried to make myself understand this...I also cannot talk to my friends about this our relationship would not be good public news my parents and his family...please tell me why we doing this........? what can i do...in this situation....
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female
reader, Deph  +, writes (12 November 2010):
Been there, done that... If he can have both you and his wife (and get away with it) he'll never do anything about it, he'll keep the both of you. Nonetheless, he cannot possibly truly love both you and his wife, no one can. So, either he's lying in your face (which makes him a total jerk) or he cares about you in a way that does not match the love he has for his wife (which makes him a totally immature jerk). It's understandable that you hate his wife, after all he "belongs" to her. Either way, things are unlikely to get better for you. So there's no point in trying to understand him or in waiting for him to make a decision.I'm sure you already know what would be best for you. At least rationally. Too bad we can't always put reason and feelings together. You'll just have to make your own decision, based on either of the two. If you decide to leave him, do it on your own and because YOU want to, don't wait for him to play along and agree to splitting up.I remembered a quote about men, saying that when an older man is having a relationship with a younger woman, it's not her youth he's after, but his own. Think about that...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): very very simple: he is only using you. you say you hate his wife, of course you do. SHe is the love of his life, she has a good life with him, you are just jealous of his wife. this man has it so good - a loving faithful wife and family and you his sex slut whom he comes to for mere sexual favours. there is no love here, only lust. the sad thing is you cannot and will not see and admit it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): He will never leave his wife. Please stop what you're doing now because this is not fair to the wife and child and it's not fair to yourself either. This man is using you and leading you on and all you'll get out of this is anger and heartbreak.
And think about this...what if he did divorce his wife? Imagine how angry and torn the wife and child would be. And what about you? Would you marry him knowing he is a cheater? No. A relationship with roots in adultery never bodes well.
And from my experience, a man who's cheating with one women is usually cheating with more. So don't be surprised to discover other mistresses as well.
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A
female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (30 March 2010):
 He doesnt love you, he loves having sex with a younger woman - I imagine he feels like the sexiest man on earth, getting it from both you and his wife without any trouble.
That may seem blunt, but thats whats happening, and its up to you to be strong enough to recognise that you deserve better! Leave him and find a man who wants you and only you.
Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (30 March 2010):
 He wants his cake (marriage) and wants to eat it too (you). Right now he will say anything to string you along. If he really loved you or his wife, he wouldn't be cheating. Let this guy go. He is no good.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 March 2010):
He's using you for sex. That's all. He won't leave his wife for you. so end it and find a man who deserves your attention and love. There is only room in the heart for one person.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 March 2010):
 Tell him to go back to his wife, it's over, and mean it. There is no future for you here. Be strong, it's for your own good.
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