A
female
age
41-50,
*ove is hard
writes:O.k. heres my situation. I am in love with my Fiance'. We have been through really rough times..Who hasn't. Well now lately he has really been stressing accusing me of talking to another Man. I haven't been. But we have this female friend of his that it's O.K. for him to talk to, she has caused sooo many problems between us and she slept with his friend and their friends for money. She explained to me a couple of weeks ago that she likes other women's men. Now I know alllll about the game. I see it from a mile away. I've told him to STOP talking to her and now she sent me a text message saying how are me and him doing. I want to curse him out soooo bad for still talking to her. Please shed some light on this situation for me. He is now living with his mom and LOVES ME, after 11 years we just had a baby girl together. I'm feeling one sided in this. He is not respecting ANYTHING that I have said. It's like i'm in a prison and he can do whatever right.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): Hello. You arent in a prison, you have freedom of choice and can direct your own life as you see fit. If he loves you and you love him, why is he now living at his mothers home? You say this woman is a friend of both you and him. Have a word with her then and tell her if she wants to remain your friend she has to back off! Tell him to join you and your child in your home if he loves you so much. If he wont join you or stop contact with this woman then leave them to it and just worry about yourself and child.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (9 December 2009):
 1. After 11 years he should have married you by now.
2. Cheaters often accuse other people of things they're ashamed of. It's called projection.
3. Why is he living with his mom and not making a home for you and your child?
4. I don't believe anyone can be stolen. You keep yourself and your child going right and worry about that. Technically he has made no commitment to you and can do what he wants. He's your boyfriend, not your husband and if he wants to go, he can go. If he loves you like he says he does you have nothing to worry about.
However, someone here needs to step up their life and move to the next level. After 11 years you should have more than a pot to piss in!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): I don't like the sounds of your man, I am sorry. Is there some reason other than financial dependence that he is living with his mother?
Why does it take a guy 11 years plus to marry you? Do you think he is emotionally abusive to you? Do you think he had a baby with you as a way to own you instead of being a responsible adult and legally starting a family with you?
It sounds to me he is turning his guilt on to you and accusing you for cheating when he may be thinking of doing it or has done it.
If he truly has asked this woman to stop contacting him and she won't then perhaps try to change your phone numbers, email, etc...surely she will get the idea. If she show up at your house tell her you will call the police and then do it, that she is trespassing.
I think you need to reevaluate this relationship if you are feeling like you are in prison, that can't be healthy...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 December 2009):
What is he doing living with his mum when he's got a baby with you? What is he still in contact with this woman for, after he accused you of talking to another man? Why isn't he listening to you? Respectfully, I suggest you talk to him now. It sounds like either something is happening, or has happened, or is going to happen. so get talking to him and remind him of his parental responsibilities.
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