A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi im a 34 year old man. I have a girlfriend and we have been together for more than three years. She moved in with me right after we slept together. Everything was going smoothly but now a days my girlfriend has become very possessive. She doesnt work and i have to give her money. moreover i have to take her shopping and cook for her. she made it very clear that she hated my friends and doesnt feel comfortable around my family. Both my family and friends do not like her and feel she is with me only for my money. I told her im not happy but she told me if she cant have me then no one can. Moroever i know she would do something stupid if i were to leave her. She would always say she love me but her actions doesnt show that she does. I really want out of all this but she wont move out or let me go. Nowadays she has started telling everyone that we are married. This is her way of keeping every female friends away from her. I have even started to find comfort in someone else but when she found out she called that girl to ask her to stay away from me. I want out but i dont know what to do anymore
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2014): What do you mean she'll do something "stupid" if you two break up? Can you elaborate? That was an eerie comment she made that if she can't have you no one can...gave me the creeps when I read it. Ill try to give you solutions here. Are you renting? If so, wait till your lease is up (or break the lease if the urgency calls for it) and move out without her obviously. And don't tell her where you are moving to. If you own your own place, give her a 60 day notice in writing for her to vacate your place. This is tacky I know but communicating with her isn't working. And you send it to her via certified mail. That will give you a receipt showing proof of delivery and that she got the letter. So if she doesn't leave you can show it in court, should you have to resort to those measures. But hopefully not. While doing this it might also help your situation if you help her get a place of her own. Go shopping for apartments with her, even offer to pay her rent for two months to get her started. It's an inconvenience, I know, but your objective is to part ways with her as peacefully as possible and in the long run you may find you doing this was worth every penny.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 December 2014):
 well the first thing you need to do is contact a lawyer and find out what you need to do to evict her from your home.
IF her name is not legally tied to the home (mortgage or lease) then it will be easier to get her evicted. but do it legally.
then change your phone number and block her on all social media.
she has threatened you. keep track in writing or video recording of all her threats. You may need legal help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2014): Sounds like this relationship has turned toxic. You will need to find a way to end it. You could move out after your lease is up to somewhere without her if you rent, or you can serve her with eviction papers and have the police escort her out if you own your home. Drastic but sounds like that is going to be the only way she will understand you are breaking up...Can you talk with her parents or family members to see if they will let her move back in? she sounds like she may be a bit mentally unstable if she is threatening you with violence (or violence to herself if you leave). Is this new or how she always was? Are there any resources you can contact for help in your country? For example we have the "National Domestic Violence hotline" and the "national Suicide prevention hotline" here in the US. These organizations also have websites and it may be good for you to check them out for help too.Also look into restraining orders if she does threaten violence when you evict her. Have the authorities help you to evict her.Don't start trying to date anyone else until she moves out. You don't want to bring another into this mess with a mentally unstable person if you can help it.Good luck, sounds like a very hard situation.
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