A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My best friend and I have known each other for seven years. He is five years younger to me, though we have never felt the difference in any way. Lately the past year we have been hanging out a lot, almost every other day. Around 6 months ago i sensed our interaction changing, and was loaded with chemistry. Nonetheless I avoided indulging my interest out of fear that it was just banter. Two months ago he came home drunk and asked me to lie next to him, at which point i said to him that I was not into a one night stand with him and sent him home saying he was too drunk. He texted an apology next morning and ignored me for five days (which is unusual) but then when I texted him, he came over, we spoke about it we agreed there was attraction but he said the chemistry was based on high levels of comfort, which may not be a good thing. I nodded and let it pass.A month ago over a drunken night, with all playing on my mind, I told him I wanted to kiss him, which then we did and next morning after some sleep also had sex. Right after it he said he could not handle a relationship and that I was too precious to lose as a friend.I again nodded writing it off, but really couldn;t get it off my mind. Another month passed we hung out a lot together but there was no sex or any such thing involved, just hanging with friends when we were both in town.I also insisted on a short conversation, and told him I didn't regret it. He said the same, however i think it was out of being nice. the hanging around howeve became difficult for me, a week ago I sent him a mail saying that I understood that he doesn't like me in return and I respect his opinion, but since I do, its best we don't meet a while. And when I am feeling okay about the situation and can be just friends, I will call.He landed up the next morning at my door step and I have never been this awkward as I felt that day. I told him I cannot see him right now, so he made some excuse of needing some medicine for something, which I gave to him. As he left he said "I am out of town for ten days, But I want you to call me in ten days?" to which I did not respond and he left. I then got a message from him apologising for the intrusion and that he hopes to see me soon.I dont have any intentions of calling him. And I just don't understand what he wants. I wrote him the mail to get out of it and move on. friends of mine say he has feelings but he isn't sure. I am of the opinion that a man is never really confused about whom he likes.
View related questions:
best friend, drunk, move on, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): Nonetheless, I'd like to thank you for your advice. It is always good to know a new way of looking at a problem. and the realisation that ultimately one must take responsibility, for the choice or the action. And if it didn't happen it was never meant to be. Thank you both so so much :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011): sure, but shouldn't he let me know if he does, it has been ten days? I don't know what to do about it either. All I know is that of wishes were horses, I'd like to spend some time with him intimately. Anything beyond or a 'Label' is something I have not considered. I do understand that a relationship in any capacity of intimate nature is very different from a platonic friendship be it 100 years old. but he has done nothing to make me think of it any other way than the fact that he isn't so interested.
...............................
A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (23 March 2011):
 What makes you think a man cannot have indecision or uncertainty? And now he's trying to talk to you and you're pushing him away because you want him too? Maybe he KNOWS he likes you but isn't sure it would work out or what he should do. If you cut off any man you're attracted to but who doesn't instantly sweep you up without a second thought, you're gonna have a heck of a time finding anyone. Give the guy a chance to talk at least.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (23 March 2011):
 So you think that owning a penis means you never get confused about who you like? It isn't an arrow that points to who we like you know... well it does.. but it still gets confused. :P
...............................
|
