A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Recently at a party my girlfriend of nearly 3 years had too much to drink and says she blacked out and when she came to she was being taken advantage of and got the guy to stop and she left immediately. I know she's not to blame completely but i do know if she knew her limits this would've never happened. She says she doesn't plan on drinking anymore when i'm not around. When we talked about it hurts so bad. she was visibly upset as was i. Since she told me yesterday I've had trouble smiling, laughing or even looking at her. I respect her so much for coming out and telling me this but it hurts really badly and i know it's hard for her to talk about and she says she just doesn't want to talk about it again but i still have remaining questions that eat at me. What should i do? I looked her in the eyes yesterday after my anger suppressed for a little and meant every word i told her when i said i do not love her any less after what happened and that i still want to be with her. Is this a fool me once shame on you fool me twice it's done situation? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): If this is true she was raped. If she didn't give consent it is rape. If she was passed out she couldn't have given consent. She needs to tell the police what happened and give a statement so the dirtbag can be prosecuted.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 February 2010):
 You can only offer her your ears to listen and a shoulder to cry on. You have done all you could and let this incident be buried once and for all. She will be wiser next time.
Do not confront that perpetrator as it will only prolong her agonies.It was an unfortunate incident.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (28 February 2010):
 Its sounds like that kind of situation. The best thing you can do if you want to stay with her is let it go and try not to dwell on it. Everyone makes mistakes and if she has learned her lesson from this then things should be fine. If it happens again then I don't think its worth working through.
Also if you find that you can't let this go then it will cause problems. It won't be a quick process but if you two love each other then things should be fine.
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