A
male
age
36-40,
*arcus
writes:Im a jealous guy (18) my Girlfriend is 22. We've been going out for 9 months now. I always check her sms and emails and she hates it. I do it because theres always something she hasn't told me about in them. She tells little white lies all the time to stop me getting mad about the truth.I dont think she would cheat but today i logged into her friends reunited, and theres a guy saying how he'd love to f@ck her!!! He went to school with her years ago. I could'nt read what she wrote back to him.Im afraid that if i confront her about this she'l dump me for 'invading her privacy' even when i said i wouldn't do it again. But on the other hand this is tearing me apart. I love her so much.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): yo, u need to talk to her. believe me, its always gonna kill u if u dont talk to her. i bet it would make u feel better to see what she wrote to him also. Talk to her, her not telling u about what that guy said means she is obviously keeping in touch with him which she shouldnt be because he wants to f**k her and shes with u, not him ! Dude, i would have talked to her about this. i no u said u wouldnt go through her stuff again but now that u did, u found a reason not to be mad at ur self. ur innocent, shes guilty...talk to her, and dump her if she argues with u and you'll see how fast she'll come running back to u with apologies. Thats the best way to let her no that your done with her white lies and her bullsh*t. u need to put ur foot down and stop showing her that ur willing to put up with all her sh*t no matter what. Be a man, and she'll give you the respect that u deserve as a man. Good Luck !
A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (13 July 2007):
 There clearly isn't enough trust between the two of you. She lies, you're suspicious of her. If she doesn't start being honest and if you continue to evade her privacy, then the two of you just aren't going to work.
I'd say confront her. She cannot justify you invading her privacy if she has given you reasons to do this. You both need to sit and talk. She simply cannot continue to lie to you, and you must start to trust her. If their is no honesty there, then I'm afraid the two of you have no future together.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): First of all, she has no control over what other people say to her. So if someone says those kinda things to her then you have a go at HER for them be warned she will not appreciate it. Chances are she already told this guy to go away.
I would ask why she keeps lying, but you've answered your my question there "to stop me getting mad about the truth". The "truths" probably aren't that bad are they? Probably things like pet names, smiley faces, regards on texts and emails. that kinda thing. I'm only assuming so forgive me if its not that.
She doesn't want argument after argument with you about trivial crap and issues with paranoia. She doesn't want to fight with you. Unfortunately although she has been tight with the truth to stop your feelings getting hurt by nothing, your descision to barge on in there anyway without permission makes it seem all the more deceitful to you, but all the more of a betrayal to her.
It comes down to your issues with trust I think. You really need to sit down with her and talk. But not to talk about her, and all the things you've read and thought she might have done/thinking of doing/not doing. Talk about YOU. YOUR issues with trust, and why you feel like you cannot trust this girl even though she has given you no hard evidence not to trust her.
To be honest, she's far more likely to share things with you if she knows you aren't going to go in a jealous strop when she tells you. THAT's what's stopping her. Her fear of your reaction if she were to be completely honest with you.
I'm sorry to be harsh, but no wonder she hates you checking her emails and texts, I don't know anyone that would appreciate that behaviour from someone they are supposed to be in a relationship with. You will need to resolve your issues with this, otherwise I am sorry again to say, but I'm guessing she won't put up with a possesive and jealous boyfriend much longer.
Best of luck with this, take care.
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A
male
reader, Marcellas  +, writes (12 July 2007):
say bye bye, your suspicions are well founded.....
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