A
female
age
30-35,
*sears1989
writes:I need help. Ive fallen for this guy who doesnt want a relationship right now because hes leaving for the military and he doesnt want a long distance relationship and neither do i. But we both really like each other and make each other very happy. I dont know what to do. I havent told him I love him yet because its to soon for that and also im afraid id lose him completely. Im thinking about moving to where hes going to be when i have the money but im afraid by that time he will have somone else. I dont know what do. I feel like he's the one for me but then again im thinking if he was he wouldnt be leaving.
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long distance, military, money, move on Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): ok i was in the same spot as you...i really liked this guy in the army and we was dating well he ask me to move with him so i did...i married the guy b4 he got restationed...its really hard to move...you leave your friends and family....ive been away from my family for 4 months now and im really home sick..and alot of single girls that are in the military try to get with everyman..there has been alot of girls trying to get my hubby to cheat on me with them...so please i ask of you think this over before you make the move...its going to be really hard on you...i would make sure he wants to with you and only you b4 you move...my life is really hard being a military wife and being away from everyone...but please think this over
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): I see.. Thank you then i will finish with this thought..
If you are QUESTIONING whether not you should wait for him, then the answer is NO. You're ALL in or all out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): That is EXACTLY what what i'm saying. they need all the support they can get. The decison she is trying to make is so important.. and i'm trying to get that point strongly and clearly accross to her.
For some people, being an army wife is some sort of fantasy. Some like the attention. Some want to tell the guy what will make him happy because they think they love him. But ultimately, the only people who should wait for these men are the women who really, really can.
The point with the stastistic is to prove how many people take this decison lightly and make mistakes and to prove that it's important. It's not simple. If you can do it, you will be so pround of him when he comes home, and everytime you see him again after waiting, is the most amazing thing in the world.
My point was valid. If the statistic is too heated for you, don't focus on it. This site looks for honesty. It's so hard seeing my husband's friends go through this.. their wives and kids are ripped away for them.. they're away doing osmethinig amazing and that is how they get repaid. I wish there were more.. a LOT more that i could do to help those men, but this is all i can do. Is advice people of the reality of going into a relationship like this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): The fact that he's laeving doesn't mean he's not the one for you. If he is, than he is. If not, he's not. Nothing he's doing wiht his life will change that. I met my man weeks before he left for basic and infantry training (four months). He came back, we got married, and he left again.. 14 months. He's the one for me and no period of time of being away from him can change that. I have to say though, only four months into his deployment.. and four wives have left their husbands. One had a mental breakdown.. two of them had four kids.. It's rough.. you have to love him more than life itself. You have to be selfless.. you have to have a very, very clear head and handle stress well. If you committ to being with him and then leave him while he's away because you can't handle it, then you are causing serious problems for him. There are more suicides from soldiers being left while they're overseas than there are casualties from them being in the war.
You can send me a message anytime if you need to further discuss this. It is not something to take lightly. It's not an easy decision.
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female
reader, Dsears1989 +, writes (7 May 2009):
Dsears1989 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont know if he loves me to. Alls I know is that he really likes me.
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female
reader, 2dareANDdream +, writes (7 May 2009):
 Me being a child of a man who served 24 yrs in a AF I can say, that involves alot of moving in short period of time. He could be transfered within 24 hrs! If you love him and he loves you and your both willing to go threw this, then go for it. But also it's hard to get comfortable then have to just up and leave. Thats a hard question because only you know how much you love him and if you really are willing to drop everything at anytime and just leave.. Good Luck
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