A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dated a guy for a year, and then he moved across the country to go to school. (He's 2 years older than me, but just one year older in school.) We continued to date long distance for the school year, with me going to visit him at Christmastime, and him coming here for my senior prom and graduation. We had a wonderful, amazing God-centered relationship. We were best friends, and I loved him with all my heart and soul. I know he loved me to. We often talked about our future together. We knew we were going to get married, and he was saving up for an engagement ring. He had a job over the summer, and I was planning on going to college where he goes, so we were going to be together soon. During the summer, I was hanging out with a bunch of friends and watching a movie. I went into the kitchen to get some popcorn, and a guy that was there cornered me and forced me to kiss him. He held my hands down and wouldn't let me move. Someone saw it happen, and told my boyfriend that I kissed another guy. I knew that if I wanted to keep hanging out with my friends, that guy would be around and in pictures. I couldn't deny that I'd be hanging out with him, so I told my boyfriend that yes, I kissed him. Dumb move, I know. My boyfriend forgave me, but that guy was still in pictures that my boyfriend saw, and he didn’t really like that.Over the whole summer, I was too busy hanging out with friends to realize that I was neglecting my boyfriend, but we figured that we’d just fix things when I got to school. Unfortunately, I changed schools two days before I was supposed to move. I’m still across the country from him, but I’m transferring in the winter to go there. I felt awful for lying about something dumb, so I came clean about the forced kiss. He just keeps saying I could’ve screamed or fought, but when you’re actually in that situation, you don’t think of that. I just wanted to get out of there. He doesn’t believe anything I say anymore.Within the past month, he told me that he has feelings for the girl that was supposed to be my roommate at his school. Her and I are virtually the same person. We have the same interests, and even look similar.He dated a girl for 8 months, and it took him 9 months to get over her and start dating me. There’s no way he’s ready for a relationship.Now, I’m an extremely religious and prayerful person. God has been showing me signs lately that my ex and I are going to get back together and get married. He doesn’t believe me, and says I never gave him a reason to stay.I’m so hurt and I love him so much. I thought that two years of an amazing relationship would overshadow 3 months of confusion.Over the summer, he lost weight and became depressed, because I didn’t talk to him. Now, I’m in his shoes. I’ve lost 15 lbs. in the past two weeks, I can’t eat, can’t sleep, I cry all the time, and I just generally miss him. I'm at a loss. I feel completely helpless.What do I do now to get him back?
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best friend, christmas, depressed, get back together, long distance, my ex, roommate Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all.
I'm trying all that I can think of, but it seems to just drive him away faster.
Would waiting until I actually get there be beneficial?
I know he's super stubborn, and maybe staying in the background and just waiting will let him have time to realize what he's missing?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): just keep trying and don't give up. do everything you can think of without stepping out of boundaries. try hard and forget about the bad... keep praying...God's always there for you :)! good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 September 2009):
The reality is that he is with another girl. He won't be coming back. Being religious myself, I am aware that sometimes you can see signs. However, are you sure that you're not just being tested? Maybe you're supposed to get over this guy. I think you should let your heart heal, go out with friends and meet other guys and see where that leads. Don't wait around for him to come to you, because he won't. Trust yourself, get out there and meet other people. Also, if he didn't believe you, what hope has your relationship really got? All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): well.. i'm not the best person for advice but ill offer what i have. try everything you can think of. don't give up. if you love him and God is telling you that you are meant to be together, then you are. forget about the forced kiss and what went wrong and try to think of all the good times you had together. do anything and everything you can do without stepping out of your boundaries. just keep trying and keep praying.
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