Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (8 August 2013):
 I think maybe you should leave this poor girl alone. If she is going through a lot then the last thing she needs is to be pushed by people who are supposed to care about her.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 August 2013):
 Maybe she saw your profile here and paid attention to what you wrote in #6. She couldn't deal with it.
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female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (8 August 2013):
 In denial of what? Can you at least specify that?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013): She may be in denial, but I don't see where the counselor has advised you to push her any further than she wishes to go. If there is a counselor involved; things have reached a point that she may be overwhelmed. Backing off is a good idea.
I stand by my previous advice. It seems appropriate to your situation.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (7 August 2013):
TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the question Ive given a female counselor vivid details of our dates and transcripts of our chats. She says 'theres a great deal of denial on her part' I kno im not telling all the story. Its a mess. But I do appreciate the answers. I am backing off again.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 August 2013):
 Agreed that based on follow ups she's not in denial she's just not as interested in what you want as you are...
perhaps she only wants casual and you are not accepting of that? and when you back off she thinks she's getting casual and she's happy and when you pursue her and push her she knows you want more and she does not....
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (7 August 2013):
 Hmm, just noticed your update with more info.
She's clearly backed off, for whatever reason. Sometimes people just change their minds as they get to know a person better. The things they said at the beginning are no longer true. It's sad but it happens.
Whatever her reason, you must respect her decision. As hard as that is. Just try to leave her be and get on with life.
Any other course of action may lead to her feeling harassed and you losing dignity/ self respect. Neither are nice.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (7 August 2013):
Tranced, I happened to read your response to the young man posting about whether he should contact a woman who told him that she's not interested in him romantically. Your response to him sheds some light on your very vague question.
I am assuming (correct me if I'm wrong) that you are romantically involved with someone who has told you she doesn't feel the same way. Yes, that can be difficult to accept. But saying that she is in denial is suggesting that she either has some deep rooted psychological issues or has learning difficulties. If neither of these are the case, her saying she doesn't share your feelings is the truth, and the person in denial is unfortunately yourself.
Respect her words and respect her wishes.
Feel free to correct me if I've jumped to all the wrong conclusions.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013): Respect the parameters a woman sets regarding her feelings.
If there is one thing on this green earth that is a fact.
Women have no problem in expressing their feelings. It may be hard for them to admit to some things.
If they don't want you, they have no problem with the word "NO!!!"
No matter what language they say it. That isn't denial, they mean "NO!"
If she has broken up with you, and doesn't want you back.
There is no denying it. Pressuring her is bullying her.
If she is in denial, it is up to her to reverse whatever she may be denying.
When she is good and ready to do so!
You do not pressure any woman into bending to your will.
Whatever she is in denial of, let it be. Give her time to change her mind. If her mind is already up, you're the one who is in denial. I'm far from a stupid man, my friend.
GET THAT?!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 August 2013):
 If she is SUCH a denial then maybe you need to let that one go. You can't FORCE her to feel whatever YOU think she should feel.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 August 2013):
 I am just going to post this again:
"If a woman rejects you, she is not in denial of her feelings.
She is denial of your advances."
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 August 2013):
ok but what is she in denial about...
if she's in denial that she's got cancer and is dying, then there is not much you can do till she is ready to cope
if she is in denial that she's pregnant this too shall pass
if however, she is in denial about how she feels about you, then you have to accept her denial and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013): Hi there. I disagree to some post here.
I am a woman. But every woman does have different opinion.
But I think I am one of the best person to answer your question.
Why? because lets just say that I an expert when it comes to rejecting men I like.
I know its bullshit but that's me. So maybe the woman you like is just like me.
There are 3 types of women:
1. Easy to get
you know what i mean
2. Playing hard to get
3. A Real Hard to get
How to tell the difference, you know. I don't have to explain one by one. but let me discuss the last type of women. A Real hard to Get.
I think the girl you like falls to the last type.
the reason behind?
maybe because of a bad relationship experience in the past.
or maybe she saw something in you or you did something to her that makes her think twice and say NO to you.
It could be as simple as, you were not able to keep your promise.or simple things that she takes seriously but you don't. But remember when a woman says No to you its doesn't mean she wants to stop to be your friend. Sometimes Its just NOT NOW. Not at this time.
It seems like you really like her. She must be really something special.
All is fair in Love and war. what would you lose? your a man.
Just don't appear like a stalker. Just keep things friendly and fun for her. I mean make her laugh when you talk to her, ENJOY each other's company.
That's the key. Who knows one day? she'll be yours.
Good Luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013): If a female rejects you, she is not in denial of her feelings.
She is denial of your advances.
If she wants to breakup with you, she can still love you; but she doesn't want to be with you. There is no denial about that.
If you are withholding the details for your own benefit; you are in denial of getting a decent answer.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (7 August 2013):
TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMore details
She started reciprocating sex(opening up) and giving ie I made dinner she did dishes
We clicked in nearly every way. Great chemistry.
She said I was a great person n had great heart n strong in mind and soul
Also said I was perfect in every way
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (7 August 2013):
 Very little information to go on here.
I'm guessing this female in question is a woman you want who doesn't want you, yet you've decided she does and just needs your guidance to realise that.
The woman is not in denial. She knows what she wants and that is to be left alone.
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (7 August 2013):
Depends what feelings she is denying. Women are complicated and not as black and white as men. It might take a lot more to get her to open up.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (7 August 2013):
TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTheres too many details. Its a mess.but im very convinced as well as others that she is in denial.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 August 2013):
 More details please.
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