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writes: What Do I Do??My girlfriend and I broke up because of many reason: (1.I look at other girls in front of her, a BAD HABIT)(2. I talk about other girls)(3. MAIN REASON - A friend of my cousins', as well as my cousins, stayed at my house for 3 weeks and the friend likes me. My ex found out and that my ex thought I got over her but I hadn't at all. In the process, she told me nasty things about me and told me that I don't lover her as much as I say I do or show I do.Ever since then I have been hurt because I really love this girl with all my heart, but she doesn't believe me. Now she doesn't want to have any messages or even phone calls to say that I love her or anything like that. I think she is really hurt and I can't stop thinking of how much of an asshole I am and that I am what she said I am (and idiot, and asshole, a crap talker). I want to be a nice guy. I want to be what she wants me to be, not just for her but so I can be who I was when she fell in love with me.PLZ Help...tHANK YOU
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reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (2 February 2006):
 I think you have to look at 1 and 2 as leading to 3. She most likley doesn't beleive you that nothing happened with you and this other girl because you are always talking about and obviously looking at other girls in front of her. Look at it from her point of view - if you are like this with her around then given 3 weeks in close proximity to another girl whom she knows likes you she is bound to assume the worst.
First things first. Give her some space to get over her hurt and confusion. Bombarding her right now is only going to make her feel pressured and more annoyed at you most likely so cut out the messages and the txting, hard though it may be. Second, after you have given her some space and hopefully are able to talk again, you need to recognise how your behaviour made her feel. Pretty bad and unwanted naturally.
To make amends for this you are most likely going to have to woo this girl again to convince her of the sincerity of your feelings. Assuming that is successful then you do need to learn some lessons from this. If you see a girl while you are with your gf make a conscious effort to keep your eyes on her and appreciate her for her beauty. If you must talk about other girls, for example they are friends, then dont dwell on how pretty they may be. Hope that all helps.
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