A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm fed up right now. I came back home from college for my spring break, and wanted to evenly split time between my girlfriend and my mom. I asked about this last night here on dearcupid.org, when I had the issue. My uncle left yesterday for a several months to go do training for a new job in a different state. My girlfriend wanted me to play bingo with her parents and her afterwards, since we rarely see eachother. I had everything coordinated to see my uncle, then come back home, get my car, and drive to my girlfriend's house. Then my mom was saying about being late back. So I offered a compromise to take two cars, so that way I could see them both, and not have to worry about stopping at my house. My mom refused, and told me "not to worry about it [seeing my uncle]" in a snide, cynical tone. This is nothing new. Though my mom denies it, she hates my girlfriend. My girlfriend knows about this, and it puts her in tears. These run-ins between my mom and girlfriend have happened several times before, and I have asked about this before on here, and I nearly always get "side with your girlfriend" responses. I often get the thing about trying to communicate, and I tried yesterday, and my mom was like "why do I need to talk with your girlfriend? I don't want to."So now today, a day after, my mom is being for a lack of better terms-a bitch, and giving me the "silent treatment" and just being very snide today.I talked to some friends, besides getting advice on here, and they said trying to get them to talk is crucial. I need advice, and would it be advisable to just issue a threat to my mom, "either we sit down together and talk this out-or I'm just going to leave and go back to school early (only 2 days into my week-and-a-half long vacation), I don't deserve this." Thanks for your help, I need it greatly. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 There is nothing you can do about your mom and your g/f. They will have to come to an understanding between them. Leave it to them to solve their impasse.Woman and woman are better at dealing with those issues.
You could make it worse if you intercede between them.Issuing threats is a no no. It would be tantamount to declaring a war.
In this tug of war, your g/f will have to yield more to your mother if she is the understanding type.
What you can do now is to show more attentions and love to your mom over your g/f.She has issues with your g/f and feels that you are more on her side. You should know where your bread is buttered.
Most mothers have jaundice eyes on their future DIL. You cannot blame them .Furthermore , the generation gap may come into play.
A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (7 March 2010):
 Do you know why your mom hates your girlfriend? If there no good reason then your mom is way too controlling over your life.
Tell your mom you want to have a talk with her, if she refuses then dont worry about it, just carry on. If she talks then sit down and ask her outright whats the problem with your girlfriend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): your mom is being insecure and jealous. Your girl friend is fast learning her place amongst the women in your life, mama's boy. Your mom is over controling. Tell her where to get bent now before you have some issues with her and other girl friends.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 March 2010):
To be honest, and having also read your other post, your mother sounds like the original nightmare. She sounds far too controlling and obsessive to me. I don't mean that offensively, but your poor girlfriend must wonder what she's done wrong. Okay, maybe your girlfriend shouldn't have moaned about you wanting to see your uncle one last time. But your mother's reaction is so over the top it begs belief. I actually think the best thing you can do now is keep them well apart from each other. And I think if your mother wants to give you the silent treatment, you should go right ahead and just let her. Don't offer to talk, just leave for school. Then when she gets in contact, tell her that her attitude is driving you away. You need to be tough about this. To be honest it sounds like your mother is just jealous that another woman has your attention.
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