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female
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anonymous
writes: You may remeber me from my previous question..... boyfriend on holiday in Ibiza- hasnt contacted me for 2 days- worried!Well after this initial lack of interest in m whilkst he was on hols he then rang me at least once a day.A continuation..............OK he is now home. This morning when down stairs and shouted up to him..... Is it ok if I grab your card out of ur wallet to go get some milk etc. Yes he replied. Open his wallet pull out card.... condom falls out. We dont use them. help me
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): Come on you know the answer he has cheated on you why else have condoms in his wallet. If he comes up with a story to explain why , you wouldn't honestly believe it, would you? For goodness sake do your self a favour you really deserve better, tell him to go.
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female
reader, Kinger25 +, writes (17 July 2006):
1st things 1st. Do not under any circumstance ACCUSE your boyfriend of anything as there maybe a perfectly legitimate explanation for this. I know exactly how you must be feeling now, especially if you really love this man, but please try to put your anger and worry to one side for a moment to deal with this. Men do not respond well to accusations and angry comments. If this were me then I would arrange a quiet night in with him, just the two of you. Dont mention to him that you need to talk as this will make him instantly suspicious and if he has been doing the dirties on you he will have all day to think of an impeccable excuse for you. Cook him a lovely meal, and do everything as though you are giving him a romantic night in with you. Talk to him in a soft tone and make him feel loved. Then when the night is coming to a conclusion, gently broach the subject with him. The best way to do it is to tell him the truth about how you feel calmly and cooly. Explain to him how you found the condom so he doesn't think you've been nosing through his things and express your concerns to him affectionately. Say something like. I'm sorry to have to raise this with you now, but it's been bothering me a little bit. I love you and I want to be with you but if we're going to be together I'd really like to be able to trust you...... and so on. If he's any decent sort of man then he wont be able to lie to you after you've put so much effort into that evening and you've approached the subject with him so calmly. If not and he blatently lies to your face after all of your hard work then he's not worth it anyway - get rid of him! Be strong and cool and you can find out the truth no problem. Good Luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): It's when I read questions like this I'm left thinking "Why don't you just ask them!"
Seriously - just ask him!
Right now it could be any thing, if you want to have a good, healthy relationship, talk to your partner *before* having to write abouts your problems on the Internet!
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (17 July 2006):
 O.K. - WHOA!!! Sit for a while and think ... How long have you been together?
1) - Could it be an old one from before your relationship? (check out the sell-by date)
2) - Could one of his mates planted it as a prank?
I have been through this with my man and those were the first excuses he came out with, I'm not sure I believe him, and I have no way of finding out for sure. But I have decided to stay with him as he went away with a crowd of his friends and could have been 'led on'...Call me a fool, but he is so perfect for me and has been my saviour for the past 9 months, during which time I have never had the slightest cause for doubt, so I guess I have to take all that into consideration. He treats me with the utmost love and respect in every other way, after all. Otherwise it could have been a VERY different outcome!
By the way, If/when you confront him - (if you have'nt done so already), don't say where or when you found it - it would make it too easy for him to make up an excuse...just wait for a while, then confront him - and if he says "where did you find that?" - just say "where do you think" - then you can say ...WHY, ARE THERE MORE THAN ONE?" And call his bluff!! Just tell him to look you in the eye, watch his face very carefully for tell-tale signs of lying i.e. touching the nose, ears, hair, etc...(This is what Bill Clinton did several times whilst being questioned about Monica Lewinsky)!!... Whatever you decide, I do wish you luck, as I can say I've been there and can still remember the nauseous feeling in the stomach and reeling from the shock - it really is HORRIBLE; - something else you can tell him about to make him think! That is my story, I hope it helps - GOOD LUCK - I'd be really interested to know how it all works out for you..
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): well may be he was about to introduce the idea and hadn't got round to brooching the subject
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