A
female
age
41-50,
*way
writes:I'm writing in search of advice for my present situation. I am 26 years old and have been living with my boyfriend for the past 8 years. Both of our families consider this more like a marriage, which I agree with because things have gotten so complicated and I feel as if I am stuck. Living together for all this time has created ups and downs, but the problem is that this past year has been miserable. My self-esteem is non-existent and I can't bring this up to family or friends because they all love him so dearly, however, I don't think that I do anymore. He drinks everyday, but is a highly achieving individual, so people don't seem to think there is a problem. He doesn't have any interest in me, other than bickering and there is no sex life. We own a home together and share a car. Most of our friends are mutual. We fight every single day and I don't get any space from him. He doesn't go out with friends and I feel so depressed that I don't want to go out much either. That leaves us stuck together. When I do go out, I find myself not wanting to come home. I really feel like I want to break up, but all the fall out seems daunting. I keep hoping that things will get better. I keep thinking that things will get better and that if I just stick this out, it'll all end up okay. We're so used to being together that I am afraid we are both settling for a very unhealthy partnership. I think that I might be staying because of money and the house. I am fearful that I may not be able to make it on my own.
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female
reader, msdianne22 +, writes (2 February 2009):
this is not an answer but i have been with my man for 8 yrs also..............and everything you wrote is exactly how i feel..........i just posted a question as well about my relationship (the non-existent one) i decided to check out other question and saw your post........hope somebody can help us........but leaving means we lose the house, car, money, basically everything we depend on........it's kind of like we are trapped.........best of luck to ya girl
A
female
reader, lilly123  +, writes (3 August 2008):
 You should not stay with him when you are this unhappy dont just stay with him for the house and the money,being with somone for the last 8 years you are bound to be scared of breaking it off and being alone but you will make it on your own because of you friends and familiy.Being together is not making either of you happy and you should be with somone who makes you feel the way he did at the start of the relationship and maybe with you being together as long as you have a little break could do some good for the relationship.Dont waste your life with somone that does not make you happy. Goodluck (allthough you want need it)
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