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anonymous
writes: How do I persuade my hubby's friend's wife that she has nothing to be jealous of when we are out as a foursome? I get on well with the bloke and we have innuendo going between us but that is it. I would never have an affair or try and destroy our marriages. The bloke has never tried to touch me or kiss me he just flirts with me. My hubby isn't bothered about it either - he feels that she seems to be jealous or insecure which he can't do anything about. I would like to talk to her and reassure her but I don't know how. Sometimes she will talk to me, other times she won't. Good example: she spoke to me on Wednesday this week but at a children's party she hardly talked to me, couldn't wait to go home and then sat away from everyone else at the party.I have apologised to my hubby that I appear to have destroyed the friendship between him and the mate but he said you haven't, she's the one who is insecure'. When I asked who she didn't trust was it the hubby or me, he said 'her hubby'.Any ideas on how to speak to her - I don't want a friendship destroyed because of this, especially if she has been used to him flirting with women all the time way before we knew them.
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affair, flirt, friend's wife, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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reader, joonie +, writes (12 April 2005):
YOU are flirting with him in front of her, and i don't blame her one bit for being bothered by it...it is your way of saying to her, "i can have your man anytime i want. watch me prove it to you"...THAT'S WRONG!!! how would you feel if your man was flirting openly with her and you really felt he was attracted to her? i believe you would feel the same way...what woman DOESN'T want her own man's attention? i sense by your behavior, a bit of competition with your female friend on YOUR part...is it worth risking your friendship? please get the reassurance you need from YOUR man, and not someone elses...
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (11 April 2005):
 This is difficult really as flirtation is fine if everyone is happy about it. When one person flirts with another it is normally an indication that they fancy them. Some people, however, are naturally flirtatious so there is a fine line between what can be accepted and what can't.As she seems insecure, I would suggest that primarily you stop flirting with her husband even if he flirts with you. It has obviously made her feel uncomfortable.Could your husband speak to her husband or even to her and explain the situation, saying that you would like to be friends with her. She may not want to know but it isn't exactly your responsibility to make her feel better about herself. That is down to her and her hubby.Next time you see her, make the effort to talk to her first, not necessarily about the situation. Try to bring her out of her shell.In the meantime, your husband could still try to talk to his mate. After all, their friendship shouldn't suffer as a result of this.I hope this helps.
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