A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had an experience in bed the other night and I am not sure how I should react to it. I was having sex with my boyfriend, I was lying on my stomach and he was on top of me. We were both very drunk. Then he stuck it my bum. I dont know whether he meant to or if it was an accident. When I said 'stop that hurts' he did. I am too ashamed to ask him if it was an accident. If it wasnt is that rape? We have never talked about having anal but I would have said NO if he asked me.
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female
reader, arielbriane  +, writes (18 November 2009):
 I dont see how that would be rape, if you both were having sex or about to. Guys like to try new things, and sex in the anus could be great pleasure for most. Im sure he didnt mean anything by it, he probably just wanted to try something new. You should just let him know you dont like it, IF he tries it again. Im sure he'll respect your thoughts.
A
male
reader, yankit +, writes (18 November 2009):
Been there-done that! In the "heat of the moment" guys have a desire to please a women in any way posible. If you ever look at porn you will see that "back-door" sex is depicted as exrtemely pleasurable to some women. My guess is he was trying to please you in a way he believed was strange but worth a try. I'd talk it out with him to explain there's pain involved. he(we) don't realize that unless we're told. Sorry for your issue(It's a porn thing)
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A
female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (18 November 2009):
You were both drunk, he just couldn't find it. You were not raped, because he stopped when you said no.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): It was not rape. He just could't find the it. Poor thing!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 November 2009):
 I agree with the rest of the aunties, I don't think it is rape.
However I do suggest you talk to him and let him know what happened and that anal is out of the question.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): thnx for you answers! but should i be mad that he tried it without asking?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): Definately not rape, I would leave it alone unless he tries to do it again...he's probably embarrassed, if he remembers at all.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (18 November 2009):
 Must pretty much agree with the female anon. You are apparently of legal age in Aussie land, and was naked in bed with a boyfriend with whom you have a sexual relationship. And admittedly intoxicated. He was certainly inappropriate to physically initiate anal without your permission, but since he did not force the issue, then it should not be considered rape in my opinion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): It probably really was an accident, considering how drunk you both were. I wouldn't worry too much about it. No, it's not rape. If he had kept going when you told him to stop it would of been rape.
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