A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 8 yrs. We've been through more (bad) problems than anyone I know. We ended up homeless for almost 2 yrs, went through the loss of eachothers dads together, have had many family members on both sides impose upon our hospitality and relationship, hes beaten me up severely before. However, for the first 4 yrs, almost to the day, from the first day we met we did not spend 1 night apart!!! We were best friends, rarely argued, and the sex was the best that both had ever had.., extremely passionate! Then as all relationships do the exitement starts wearing off and things slow down. That would have been fine but the 5th yr together when things began to slow, it went from slow to, by year end, dead hault! For the last, almost, 3 yrs we haven't as much as kissed let alone had sex. For the last year we haven't even slept in same bed. He says he hates sex and can't stand the thought of it, muchless actually having it. He says its not me, there's nothing wrong with my appearence.
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female
reader, abracadabra  +, writes (3 April 2011):
He sounds quite messed up and it's time to move on. The fact that he's beaten you up - severely!!! - is an instant deal-breaker. Do. Not. Stay.Not only that, he has further been abusive to you by denying you sex and affection. Don't ask yourself what you're doing wrong. The problem is all his!You will not be happy with him, he doesn't appear to care about your happiness, so this is not the man for you. Find the strength to move on.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 April 2011):
 I confess that I've lost you at :he's beaten me up severely.
That makes all the rest irrelevant. Best friend, best foe, good sex, no sex.... who cares ...?
If you have an ounce of self respect and self love, - and if you want to dramatically increase your life expectancy, leave him. Now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): I encourage both of you to seek therapy, especially your boyfriend. There are emotional and perhaps even medical reasons for his lack of libido. Don't give up on a great relationship because of something that is most likely a problem that can be solved with time and the right treatment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): I'm not sure what your question is. Do you want to know if you should stay? It depends, are you happy?
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