A
female
age
41-50,
*u lu3
writes:i want to know , how do i get over a man i loved for 8 years . he broke up with me 2 weeks ago saying he just wanted to be friends,we have built a life and family together , 3 children,buying a house...we sometimes would fight like most people do but lately we have been fighting more than ever over stupid small things and he told me he wanted to be friends and didnt want us to hate each other. i am so confused and hurt ,i really love this man ,and i dont know what to do.we have never broken up b4 even for a day.he tells me he loves me and hes sorry but hes not sure why hes doing this. hes going out tonight with the "guys" and im here hurt and sad ,wondering what to do. thanks to all who read this .
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): Hi,
I just wanted to say that i know exactly what you are going through,my partner of nearly 8 years has just left me even though we have no children together it still hurts like hell,i cant eat,sleep,do nothing because my head is just going round n round in circles.he just upped and left and said he needed space and time....that was over a week ago and here i am just hanging.if you wana talk please do so because i know how it feels
V x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): He's got another woman. Friends hell, the next time he comes over, have another man there. Answer none of his questions. Cry alone or to your friends or family, but when HE is around, look good, smell good,
BE HAPPY. He will wonder what is going on. Take a picture of different men. Leave) them lying around, stuck behind the faucet in the bathroom. Keep men's socks, a tie, colone, around your place. Don't after his calls after 5. BE BUSY. You may be crawling around on the floor for a while but believe me (I've been where you are) he'll be back. -been there.
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A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 This is such an awful situation to be in, especially with children involved. I was with my partner for 7 years and we had one child together when he left. I admit, I didn't feel about him the way you do about your husband but I know how difficult it is. I think the only thing that's going to help here is time. That sounds such a cliche I know but it's true. If this was one of my girlfriends I would advise them not to be friends with him but obviously this isn't an option for you as you need to be on good terms for the sake of the children. There's no miracle that is going to make you get over this quicker, just surround yourself with the people who love you and let them help you. You CAN get through this, if you ever want to talk just message me and I'll be here. Good luck
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A
male
reader, Mr.Insignificant +, writes (13 May 2009):
 First let me say that my heart goes out to you. Second, you don't just "get over" someone. It is ok for you to still love him, don't deny yourself that truth. I was with my wife for 9 years and have been divorced for over 3 years but I still love her and I am the one that asked for the divorce.I think you should ask yourself if you accept his answer for leaving. It is perfectly acceptable for you to ask for more clarification and don't dismiss any possibilities as to the reason why.There are other options as well to repair the relationship. Counseling, church, etc. You can also do a temporary split where neither of you talk or see each other for a number of months and then see how each of you feel.My gut tells me however that there is much more to the story than what he is letting on. He may be being elusive because he doesn't want to hurt you or because he is protecting himself.Be good to yourself Lulu and give yourself a break. None of us are perfect and anything you have done in your relationship the last 8 years, the two of you did together. There is an unspoken covenant between the two of you, know this fact. As such you deserve the respect of the entire truth.Good luck.
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