A
female
age
51-59,
*oreverconfused
writes:Ok i just dont know what to do anymore. I was married for eighteen years. It was rocky marriage and stayed for the children. I was filing for divorce and had met this man that swept me off my sweet. He pursued me so strongly. He was so honest and loving and Acted so inlove with me. Everything i wanted in a man. after a couple months of dating he told me he couldnt wait to marry me!. He couldn't wait for my divorce to be finial. Well as soon as my divorce was final the mention of marriage was never mentioned again!/ I was confused and wondering why all of a sudden he had nothing to say about it. He talked about it all the time. Well after a few months went by, I asked him why he never talked about us and the future and marriage anymore. He just said..well i only said that because i wanted you to hurry and get that divorce. Well i was shocked hurt. I did get over it and he said he wanted to own a house and be more financially stable first. Now it is seven years later. I have never pushed or nagged at him at all. just thought he would come to it on his own time. Well nothing!. Now i just feel like i am filling in till he finds the one he wants. Why would this man waist all that time on me if he didnt love me and want to marry me. I just dont get it. I didnt want to try and force him or corner him so he would marry me for the wrong reasons. Now i find my self resentful, insecure. do love him but I am 43 years old. Not getting any younger!. What can i say to him, how can i make him understand how important it is to me. Should i walk should i go. I do have a 13 year old little boy who only knows him as a dad. Not being married worries me. if something should happen to him me and my son would be on our own. hmmm just dont want to make the wrong choice. I think a mistake i made is playing house for 7 years. What do i due
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): He is a loser.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): I am in a similiar situation as you. I just dont play wife if the commitment is not there. I know he loves me but not enough to want to commitment to me. I am heading out as well. We only have one life why waste it feeling unhappy!
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (23 January 2010):
 What you need to do is give him an ultimatum. Let him know where you would like to be in 6 months from now (marriage), and if he doesn't tie the knot you have to be willing to walk away.
I hate suggest ultimatums, but if it is necessary (and it is in this case) you have to be willing to see it out reguardless of his answer.
Do not accept a ring and no marriage. That is an easy ploy for him to buy a few more years. From what you wrote, it appears that he is enjoying all the benefits of marriage without the commitment.
The ball is really in your court. What are you going to do with it?
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (23 January 2010):
Google sites about how to make a man fall in love/propose etc. Some good tips there; Worked for me! Am divorced with 3 kids and currently engaged to a wonderful man.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 January 2010):
I think you should try talking to him about it. He may just not be a marrying type of guy,and if he's still making excuses after 7 years chances are marriage isn't on the table.
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