A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 7 year and have 2 children. I recently found out that my husband had been seeing someone and has fathered a son with that other person. We set down and talked about thing as calm as we could. He knew he had hurt me and said he did mean for that to happen. Of course I was heartbroken and pissed off. He cried and told me he was sorry and wrote me a long letter explaining things. And also said the he didn't want to me or his family and that he loved me. I then said if you love me then why did you do that. Well we have decide to work things out and I'm not about to give up on my marriage and family that we've had for 7 yrs. Since then it seems like we cant get along. And what upsets me the most is that I was able to get into his computer and saw that he has pictured of his ex-girlfriend from high school and there recent pictured. Not only that have access to his e-mail acct which he doesn't know and I saw that he had sent an e-mail to that girl which was a video that was meant for my eyes only. He don't know, I know. Since I found out everything I was able to get access to his e-mails and I have seen anything and he hasn't had any contact with anyone for a few years now. But I'm still having trust issues. I've asked him if this was the only time and if he's ever sent out e-mail of picture to her the other mother of his child or anyone else and I tell him not to lie cuz I will find out. And of course he says no that he hasn't. Now, he has a hard time trusting me when I've never done anything to me and he'll get upset with me for no reason and we wont talk for days. He acts like this is my fault and I'm the one at fault. What should I do? Sometime I just feel like giving up and I know that, that would be the easy way out. But I do love him and don't want to loose and sometimes I wonder if he does love me or if he just with me to have someone to come to everyday. And till this day he hasn't tried to work on our relationship or to reassure me that everything is fine. Not just that I don't have anyone to talk to no one in my family knows what I'm going through cuz I cant have my father find out he as heart problems and I don't want to be the person that causes him to pass away.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): he now doesn't trust you, so very convenient. he is blame shofting. you had to verify and double check his story and so what if you had access to his computer.i can think of so much more he has done to you. he broke the trust, he strayed from you and the marriage, he lied, cheated . so please do not give a hoot about the computer access.let him cry wolf, and don't be fooled by his crocodile tears.trust, he is the one to talk about this. go laugh until your insides hurt.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): hello, well, u said that u dont want to just give up on ur marriage of 7 yrs because its a long time and u love him. i think when he cheated and fathered another persons baby he gave up on ur family. people do things that they cant explain but they do them for a reason. maybe when u found out about him and his secret he thought u would leave him and thats why ur relationship is not going good right now. i used to know this girl whos boyfriend cheated on her so she would brake up with him bc he didnt want to be with her anymore but she wouldnt. she just kept forgiving him over and over and over. i'm not saying this is the reason why ur husband cheated, i'm just saying, think about things. if he's going to be sending pics/videos to other woman or being with other woman do you think ur marriage really matters to him? (thats what i think)
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A
female
reader, XxDefineMexX +, writes (15 April 2009):
 I would suggest going to a therapist. And please please please don't take that as an insult because i truly want to help you.
Therapy can really help. Just to get your problems out in the open with someone and be able to talk about it with someone helps. Did writing this question ease even a little bit of stress? if it did then you should go see someone and you might want to bring your husband also.
Hope I helped=]
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