A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We're both in college and we liked each other, he found out i was older than him before I found out he is that much younger....so we kinda talked at the end of the quarter, he was not looking at me when he asked me how old i am, then i told him and he asks do u know how old i am? and he made me guess, we're 8yrs apart I'm 25 and he's 17 he found out way before that I'm older, and I just found out now about him..........why did he do that to me? it was so offensive, and i don't get it especially when he really liked me before? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): Hi because I was born under the sign of Virgo in the month of September, I was one of the youngest people in my grade or class. I started college when I was only 17 as well and I remember feeling a little overwhelmed and scared of the social aspects of college. I joined a Sorority and there was a party every night of the week somewhere and I got myself in trouble a couple of times being around guys I did not know (kind of dangerous types) and most of my focus was really on just trying to get through my first year of classes and handle all the other things on my plate. I graduated so I guess I suceeded...but what I am getting at is this 17 year old is a kid, he probably doesn't put as much thought into his "rejection" of you as you call it as you do. So you asked him out, so he turned you down, so he maybe acted a bit freaked out that a 25 year old asked him out and he wanted you to know he was only 17 because he is too young for you.....he is not legal drinking age, etc.
I think the best thing for you to do is to just move on and be friendly when you see him. I do think in his age range and your age range he is way too young for you, he's a baby and you are a grown woman. Maybe you are having a crisis about turning 25? I kind of had a little melt down thinking to myself, wow, I am not a kid anymore, I can't use my age as an excuse for any of my choices, bad or good...so I better start growing up.
Take care and best of luck in your studies.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): Hi because I was born under the sign of Virgo in the month of September, I was one of the youngest people in my grade or class. I started college when I was only 17 as well and I remember feeling a little overwhelmed and scared of the social aspects of college. I joined a Sorority and there was a party every night of the week somewhere and I got myself in trouble a couple of times being around guys I did not know (kind of dangerous types) and most of my focus was really on just trying to get through my first year of classes and handle all the other things on my plate. I graduated so I guess I suceeded...but what I am getting at is this 17 year old is a kid, he probably doesn't put as much thought into his "rejection" of you as you call it as you do. So you asked him out, so he turned you down, so he maybe acted a bit freaked out that a 25 year old asked him out and he wanted you to know he was only 17 because he is too young for you.....he is not legal dri
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reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 He has no problem talking to them because he doesn't feel for them what he feels for you.
I agree with Oldersister: either he regrets what he did, or he will. By "problems" I basically mean he's acting stupid.
I think you already have all the advice you need.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question....Just because he's 17, how do you know its not a rejection? If he was 20 or above you would take it as a rejection? I don't think I really understand what u mean, unless your saying he wouldn't know what he's talking about or what he's doing...but maybe he could have been thinking a little more mature and it was a rejection...?? For your situation u just asked him inside for some water...but I asked him out and he rejected it...I don't understand the thing about him being just 17 or if it was anyone 20 or above...because either way that was a reject after I asked him out right?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell that's what I've been trying to do, to make him feel comfortable but I felt he already cut me off, in the beginning he's tried to come up next to me to say hi, but he got scared and just walked off each time, he has a lot of female friends and he had no problem talking to them and looks pretty comfortable around them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell..I don't really understand..why wouldn't I take this as a rejection? I feel like he's already shut me out, and I don't know if that would seem right to be flirting with him again? I most likely wouldn't be seeing him again until fall quarter starts, which is in Sept., If I do see him I'm not even sure how I should be acting...
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, sorry, I actually repeated this story so many times because I feel like I haven't got the right answers, I just exhausted myself typing out all the details each time...but this time I feel a lot better from all of your answers, I feel more at ease now..Thanks a lot!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, it was more like he rejected me and all I could think of was because I'm 8yrs older, I just finally had gotten the courage to go and talk to him at the end of the qtr, then I just found out he is 17. I guess my emotions got over my head and I just asked him out anyway..but his excuse was that "he doesn't really know me"...
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question~To Daniel,
I guess the main reason I'm upset is because I really liked this guy and I know that there was a mutual interest between us, then in the end it was a real shock to me to find out he is that much younger than me..I think I am just really disappointed..I wasn't trying to hide any important information..I know I'm a pretty shy person and he seems somewhat shy also, so that's why it took a long time and a lot of courage to go talk to him at the end, then finding out he is 8yrs younger...So what kind of problems do u mean he might have besides that most 17 yr old's would not object dating a 25 yr old? I do remember one time that he and his friend were talking and I felt they were trying to hint something at me because he was saying he had some sort of communication problem before....
To Tisha~
I think all that u've said seems pretty accurate! I know that I tend to over analyze everything, blame me for being born under the sign of a Virgo XP but yeah he really does look a lot older than his age, so I really do forget that he is 17! Honestly in my mind I still don't want to believe he is that much younger, but back in reality I guess it makes a lot more sense, since he is actually immature under that older look of his.
Thanks I feel a little bit better, and a little silly myself for over analyzing a 17 yr old's actions! I guess I was sort of in denial of his age, and he most likely doesn't even know what he's doing..so I shouldn't be taking it so personal?? XD
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): From his perspective, maybe he was serious because he thought it would bother you. I've liked people above my age too. I wasn't concerned that they were older, I was concerned about what they would think to find out that I'm younger. Girls especially will not be with a guy if he is younger. So maybe that is why he was looking down and not making eye contact. Thinking that you would reject him after finding out his age. Did you do something that could be interpreted as rejecting him?
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 June 2009):
 When I was 17, I was pretty self-absorbed and self-conscious. I could barely see past the end of my own little nose, let alone examine the effect my actions were having on others. He's a male 17 year old, and with all due respect to our male aunts of that age, they are really mostly immature. You might be forgetting that, maybe because he LOOKS older.
I think you're spending a lot of time and energy trying to analyze an action that simply sounds like a socially inept youngster flailing around pretending to be mature. It's Ockham's Razor--"the simplest or most obvious explanation of several competing ones is the one that should be preferred until it is proven wrong." My explanation is that he's a 17 year old dweeb. Don't take it personally!
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reader, Danielepew +, writes (26 June 2009):
It seems he felt you had hidden important information. What I smell here, however, is a young man with a few problems. Most 17 year olds would not object to dating a 25 year old, whether she told them their real age or not.
I am not sure I get why you're offended. Maybe it's because his behaviour made it look like he thought you were a big liar or something. Or, because you lost the guy to such an stupid thing? Why are you upset, really? Can you really look into yourself and tell us?
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reader, Kalyov +, writes (26 June 2009):
 This is normal for college
There is no problem with your age difference
It happens every day at colleges all over
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess this wasn't explained clear enough. Yes, asking someones age is normal, but clearly in this case, its different, I'm surprised how most people have overlooked this as just a normal question that he asked. He already knew my age before he asked me, he had a serious face and wasn't looking at me as he was asking, after I told him it was followed by him asking me to guess his age, either u had to be there to see the situation, or you just need to know how to read between the lines to understand..
I've considered all that-he's 17, of course he would want to go out and experience more, he doesn't know what he wants or wants to do yet, why would he want to be tied down with a 25 yr old, I was trying to be as open minded as I could be about it, I tried putting myself in his shoes to try to understand him.
In the beginning he showed interest towards me, was really nice to me like he ran the extra mile to do things for me, and lots of times showed his caring side to me. In the end, I just don't understand why he had to disrespect/offend me like that as I have done no harm to him, we've only talked a couple of times...I don't see any reason why he had to be harsh, except that maybe our age difference was scary to him, but still..it doesn't seem enough to be valid. I'm not upset that he lost interest, I was prepared for that long ago because I knew he was younger but not as young as 17, since we're both in the same college I thought he was about 21...but anyways I was upset because he disrespected me, and I can't come up with any reason he had to do that
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