A
male
age
41-50,
*ktung
writes:My girlfriend of 6.5 years is lying to me. She got this new job more than a year ago and last year I stared to notice some changes in her. Last year we were in the process of buying a house together than soon get married. However, I was not happy with the changes that were taking place. I was noticing that she was not as affectionate with me as she once was and we were constantly arguing over petty stuff. During the time of our house search we had a serious talk about possibly taking a break. She suggested to take a week break but I new we needed more than just a week so I suggested a month. After the month we got back together. Everything was great. I missed her...she missed me. We new this was for real. So we moved forward and bought a house (fixer upper). Our plans were to fix it get married and move in. But during the time we were fixing the house she started to revert back to her old ways of being distant with me. I felt that she was being cold and short with me. She would make excuses for not going out like us not having any money, however, she did have time to go out with her "friends" on a Saturday night. Sex was also not the same. One night we agreed to meet at our new home to be intimate. We were having sex when I asked her to kiss me and almost reluctantly she gave a short cold kiss than turned away. I new something was definitely wrong. To make a long story short,after arguing for a few minutes she told me that maybe we needed to be friend for a while. After a couple of weeks of me not calling and being short with her she told me that she was not happy not talking to her and new she wants to merry me and spend the rest of her life with me, but, she said that she needs a little more time to get over her confusion and doubts. Well last week a found out through our cell phone bill that there was a number that kept on reappearing at odd times and very frequent. I have asked her three times if she has feelings for someone or if she has been seeing someone else...she looked straight at my eyes and told me that she has no feelings for anyone other than me. I asked her if she is talking to someone and she said that she does talk to some coworkers but that was it. I now where not together right now but she's asking me to be patient and she will get back to her senses. It's been 6 weeks. Should I wait for her or move on? I truly love her and want to marry her. I don't know what to do.Thanks,
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male
reader, gmoney +, writes (22 January 2009):
I think that your gut feeling is right,you can feel it when your being cheated on. The first time you broke up with her you were on point. What it is youve been with her so long of coarse your gonna miss her, you mite even get sick. Love is crazy. You are comfortable with her, 6yr is a decent amount of time, its gonna be hard to just walk away from her. If you can do it cold turkey DO IT! but if not you need to ease away quickly! There are more women then men the odds are with you, just take this time to do some exploring. And dont be like me and get your X of 5yrs pregnant because of repeated break up sex lol Its a nightmare @ times! Once you decide to break it off dont have sex with her, I would cut all contact. Definately sounds like she is cheating, just browse thru this site and youll see for your self... Best wishes to you.ps shell never admit it to you.........
A
female
reader, jenr9074 +, writes (22 January 2009):
 I have a similar problem that I stated on the board as well. I have been with my BF for six years and we argue about petty stuff and he seems distant and cold. My question was if I should take a break to see if he comes after me. As for your situation, its pretty tough because you guys have taken so many breaks. She does keep reassuring you that she wants you but I think the minute you make yourself unavailable she comes running back. Tell her what you want and you can't wait around for her to figure out if your what she wants. Tell her you need to move on with your life and find a woman that loves you for who you are and makes you feel desireable and wanted. Tell her that you expect to be treated the way you treat her. I would die to have a man be this compassionate about me. I know where your coming from and I know you can talk till your blue in the face some people are just incensitive and don't get it. If you love her and want to be with her let her know you'll do whatever you can to make her happy but communication is key and if she's not willing to give more effort then you can't be the one giving all the effort anymore. I hope this helps :)
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