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anonymous
writes: Hi, I am having problems in my relationship. I have been with my partner for 6 years and just don't seem to have any feelings left for him. But the main problem is we have a baby. I need help and advice on what to do.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (17 February 2005):
 You need to make certain that you don't have any feelings at all left for your partner. Not just because you have a baby but because you have had a long term relationship and somewhere along the line, you must have cared a great deal for each other.Sit down and talk to your partner. What do you both want? Does he feel similiar to you in that the spark has gone from the relationship and if that is the case, does he feel that the two of you need to go separate ways?Or could you restore the spark to your relationship? You both need to discuss this.If you really feel that you do not love him anymore, then it may be time for you to move on. Yes, you have a baby but your child can still see his/her Dad on a regular basis. Your child won't be happy if you aren't and as he/she grows up, they will sense a bad atmosphere between you and your partner and it will be very unsettling for them.With your child in mind, if you really do feel that your relationship has lost all hope, then do indeed move on but keep in contact with your partner. You will of course have to consider all financial implications and finding somewhere to live but there are organisations that can assist in housing and counselling if you feel you require it.I don't know how your partner will feel or whether he may not wish you to leave. If that is the case then you will have to attempt to explain to him calmly the reasons why you feel it is best for you to go and for your child.I do hope this is some help to you.
A reader, Rachel, writes (17 February 2005): This isn't uncommon, relationships can easily become stale, especially after a new addition to the family. Babies can be extremely demanding and leave little time for nuturing relationships with our partners. Think about ways you and your husband can spend some time together alone. Maybe a weekend away would help recapture the spark that you had 6 years ago. Or even just making the effort to cook a special meal together, light some candles, sit down and talk - rediscover what attracted you to your husband in the first place. It's got to be worth a try before you consider separation. Good luck....and have fun! ;)
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A reader, patti, writes (17 February 2005): You can't stay with your partner if you don't love him, even though you do have a child together. It wouldn't be healthy for you to stay with your partner, just because you have a child together. You will be unhappy all the years that you would stay with him. It's not fair to you, to. Your child will see, eventually, how unhappy you are. The child will understand will understand as he/she gets older.
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