A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am seening this man of the age 55 im am 20yr old male i love him he treats me so right that is when he isnt with his second wife and kids all his kids are older than me i know it sounds weird but wat can i do should i just walk away or stick it out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): DO NOT STICK IT OUT. Leave. If he is not going to give his entire being to the relationship (i.e. divorce his wife), then leave. You deserve better. You deserve to be in a relationship with a whole person. (He can't even visit you during any holidays because he'll be with his wife and probably the rest of his family. That's wrong.) Ditch him and look for a guy who can truly devote himself to you. You deserve it. Don't settle for less.
Be empathetic. If the wife found out, she would be in a great deal of pain. It's hurtful to learn that you are sharing a person whom you adore, whom you'd give your LIFE for, with someone else. End the relationship for both your sake and your boyfriend's wife's sake. If he truly loves you, he will break off his marriage. But, even if he did, I would still be weary about trusting him, because he could possibly start another relationship. (He DID start a relationship with you during his own marriage.) If he breaks up with his wife and you guys get back together, I would recommend you both get couples counseling.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (23 January 2008):
 he's making you a tool of his pleasure so do the same back.
i doubt you would love him if you had more opportunities so try and meet someone else more likely to be able to give what you need (this screams of the classic gay low self esteem find the unavailabe partner and wallow in unrequited dreams of true unity and love) but keep this as a side dish for your main course and when it arrives end it.
one thing about life-it's not clear cut so take what you need and dont look back but dont aim to hurt either. if his wife finds out its his problem not yours so try and mould your feelings away from this fantasy idyl with father figure replacment undertones to one of smelling the freshly woken shit. even if it were to work out he would have the best years of your life and you could enter your forties cleaning his incontinence panties and wiping the mouthscum from his fixadent. yummy
put that in your pipe and smoke it!
...............................
A
male
reader, Joe158 +, writes (22 January 2008):
 Hmm the age gap isn't the problem, it's the fact that he's actually married? (you were'nt very clear in the problem...still married or divorced to his second wife??)
If he's treating you badly when he's with his second wife confront him with it. Just say i don't like the way you treat me when you're with her, you're really nice when she's not around.
If he loves you he'll change his act. Although the fact that he's still married is quite a problem.
At the end of the day he obviously does like you, but he's still tied down by his wife...so my advice would be to tell him to come and talk to you once he's chosen who he's going to be with. I know you must love him a great deal, but this is obviously causing you a great deal of stress. Like people have said, you're young, there will be many a guy like this who you'll fall "head over heals" with.
So talk to him, tell him to choose, and that you DO love him, but you're not in a relationship to be treated like a secret, and the decision is up to him. He may try and convince you to stay, and that it will all be sorted out soon. But the likelyness is that he won't change if knows he can have both a wife and family, AND you. you have to force his hand to make him make the choice. Then it's just a matter of waiting. I'm not saying it will be easy, and i'm not saying this is the right thing to do...but it's what i'd do in your situation.
Hope this helps,
Joe
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): He's obviously using u so do the same. Stay for d gifts and nights away etc, Get what u can out of him! Find yourself a guy your own age but keep this elderly gent on the side and reek the benefits! Sex, Pressies and no strings, what could be better?
...............................
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (22 January 2008):
 Hi,
I really think that you should leave him. Not because of the age gap, but because he is married with children and living a lie. The chances of him leaving his little comfort zone are pretty slim.
You are a young gay man, with your whole life ahead of you. And although this Guy may be lovely, there will be another one out there. One that can offer you a future back.
Dont waste any more of your very special life.
XXX
...............................
A
female
reader, dyson +, writes (22 January 2008):
 stay with him
age is just a number and if you truly love him then stay with him
but if you dont leave
hope it helps
?..dyson..?
...............................
|
