A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 months now, and saturday night he told me he loved me, I didnt respond and he went quiet but then we said nothing about it since.The thing is I have thought that I am falling in love with him, I do have very strong feelings for him but I dont want to confuse love with lust, how can I tell the difference between the two?5 months is way too early to be saying "I love you" isn't it?
View related questions:
I love you Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): Yes it is too early. I said I love you after a few months, and it lead to 10 years of misery so far.
but if he's not going to propose or do anything crazy, it won't hurt to tell him that you like him, or adore him or something nice like that.
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (22 February 2012):
I fell in love with my now-husband within a few weeks of dating him. I didn't tell him, I waited until we had been together for a while before I said anything. I didn't want him to feel rushed. However, 5 months is a nice amount of time.
If you feel rushed, say so. Open communication and not expecting each other to read your minds is really important in a healthy relationship. Even if the subject is uncomfortable, talking openly and honestly to each other about EVERYTHING (in a respectful and compassionate way) is the only way you two can work together for a mutually satisfying relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, zxcsdiana +, writes (22 February 2012):
Whenever you feel like saying it, say it. I'm completely in love with my boyfriend and I've only been with him for... not even two months! I met him last year and we dated but it didn't work out because of me, and I stopped talking to him. I started talking to him in August and we both agreed to spend Christmas together when we got back (we're both in university). For the 5 days/4 nights he spent at home with me, we fell in love. He told me he loved me first too! On new years. Never be afraid to say how you feel. Lust is when you're with someone for reasons to do with anything but emotions. If you were "in lust", you would probably just be with him for the sake of whatever physical activity you two have done or are doing. Maybe you're scared to tell him how you feel? You can tell him that too. Tell him how you feel because "those who matter don't mind (he will accept it), and those who mind don't matter (him freaking out on you)"Just tell him, or you'll regret not saying anything! Trust me.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 February 2012):
5 months?! That's plenty of time. If you think you love your boyfriend you should make a really big gesture to tell him and explain why you didn't say it back. I'd imagine you seriously crushed him when you didn't say it back.
...............................
A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (22 February 2012):
I dont think there is a time limit to say i love you. Its when you feel it and you really just know. I know i told my gf after 3 months i loved her and I told her why i did. she said it back but i know she didnt mean it like I did and she told me she didnt and it caught her off guard when I told her. but later she did tell it to me. She said she just felt it and told me. Its just when you are ready. and who knows maybe you will never love him. But maybe 1 day you will.
...............................
|