A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I met 4 years ago and immediately hit it off. Instant connection. We started talking and seeing eachother every day. 2 years later, we moved in together...3 weeks ago, she broke up with me and said that she feels as though we've become more of roommates now... That things had become too comfortable... She thinks of me more as a friend than a boyfriend.I feel as though I've neglected the relationship. I love her with all of my heart and know that she loves me too, but she said that she lacks the romantic feelings she once had.She moved all of her stuff out the week after we broke up, while I was at work, and returned her key. I haven't seen her in 3 weeks or heard her voice. I sent a few emails saying that I feel like I can become a better person because of this... I also said I was getting help for some problems I'm going through. I said that I believe what we had was fixable, but she thinks its not that simple. She doesn't have the same feelings she once did. She said that she always felt like the bad guy and complained about everything. She said that I'm a great person and I'll make someone very happy one day. She'll support me helping myself as a friend, but nothing more.This has been a huge wakeup call to me. I had ignored all of the warning signs and she had even told me the things bothering her... but I suppose I was afraid of confrontation. I realized how I should have treated her too late... I want to work on everything I did wrong so I never repeat these mistakes again.1. Do you think a second chance is possible if she still loves me, but thinks of me more as a friend?... We spent 4 years of our lives together, every single day...2. Should I call her and ask to meet up and just talk? Was thinking of going to get a smoothie and then the park to just talk. Nothing too serious. I think guys are going after her and I think she is seeing this one guy... I feel as though I've lost her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2009): Original poster here...It's just so sad that it came to this... a month before the breakup, she seemed confused and upset that I had not proposed to her yet (we had planned on it very quickly in the relationship)... I think she saw things falling apart and gave up on us... Her parents got divorced when she was young, so I think she's always afraid of that happening to her...I may just call her in a few weeks, if I don't hear from her first... My birthday is coming up and I wondered if she'd contact me, but probably not... When she moved out, she left some things here and she has somethings of mine. Also, she owes me money -- I had helped her buy some things... We'll have to arrange something for those sometime.I still have hope of course things work out, maybe it's denial, but I won't try and force her to feel any certain way... She's already said that she can't control how she feels and that it would be unfair to both of us to stay together.Maybe her feelings can change, but unlikely I suppose, and if so, a long long ways away...
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