A
female
age
30-35,
*oX15
writes:I am 21 years old. I'm in my fourth year of college and life is going pretty good right now. I feel good about the direction my life is going and I'm ready for anything. Everything feels perfect, except one thing. Well, three things that is. Three guys to be specific. Well...four. 1.) We've been together for almost two years. Well technically not together, but we've been trying to get back to where we were two years ago. We're both in love with what we had, who we were, and we want that back. I don't know if we can get that back. He hurt me, i hurt him. Anyone else would just leave, but I've never been closer to anyone. He's my best friend. 2.) We met when I was 16, and he was 18. The thing that I love the most about him is that he remembers when we first met, what he felt like, and after all these years, I'm still on his mind. The funny thing is, he's always been on the back of my mind as well. It feels like I've been waiting for him all along. He's everything I've ever wanted, and I remember telling my best friend after I met him, that I was going to marry him. Its Thursday now, and he's invited me to his place for the weekend, and I'm still not sure if I want to go or not. I don't know whats holding me back. Actually maybe I do...which brings me to guy #33.) We've been together all summer. My family's calling this my "summer fling" Meanwhile, he and I see it as something different. Or not. He thinks I'm the one. But then, he confuses me. We don't talk nearly as much as we should. I talk more to guy 1 and 2 then him. If I am in fact, "the one" I would expect much more out of this relationship than what I am getting. I've heard rumors that he was at this girls house, and this girl asked him out, and its all so high school. Probably because he is much younger, and just graduated high school. Therein lies the problem. People say, "He's young and doesn't really know what he wants." Well so am I, and what guy his age really wants to get married? And to add more wood to the fire, he's got a baby. I have all these doubts, and he tells me he loves me and wants this to work, but I want more than words. But he's at another college, and it can't work. I miss him too much for it work. I'm not happy, but I don't want to break it off. Someone else could have the life he and I dream of. 4.) A guy I met at this club, we made out a couple times and I think he's hot. There's nothing really else to say, but he's still a factor in the equation. Although, I do know that most bar hook-ups don't result in anything more, I like to dream. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I have these guys, these great guys right there in front of me, and yet, I still feel like I'm waiting for something. Maybe it's for one of them to actually make a move. As of now, I'm living alone, that is, without any of the guys here. I've had three marriage proposals in this summer alone, and none have come through. I got a ring out of one proposal, but what good is a ring when you're cold at night? I don't really know how to state my problem but anything you get out of that, please comment.
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male
reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (3 September 2010):
 Do they all know about each other?
I just want to make sure you aren't being exclusive with any of them and then going behind their back.
I'll assume none of them are exclusive.
Just play it out. It seems that 1 is in the past, and you should get back to reality and understand that what you had was two years ago, and you should plainly state that you only want to be friends. It seems you really want 2, he's your top pick. 3 sounds like some guy that you just hooked up with a lot and had some good times with, but you don't think of him seriously.
I won't even comment on 4. He doesn't count.
I say drop 1 and 3, and hope 2 goes for you. If he doesn't, then just wait for another. You obviously have good luck with guys. Congrats!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010): Sounds like #1 is going over old ground that just isn't "enough". #3 sounds too complicated and troublesome for the effort unless you are totally into him (which you obviously aren't if your having this debate).
If you want a bit of fun pick #4, if you want a potential relationship go for it with #2 (but cut the rest of them out of the picture properly to give him a fair go).
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