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age
30-35,
writes: We’ve all seen that ridiculous girl with her boyfriend and wondered how he puts up with it. Male and female alike, when we see someone so utterly clueless as to how irritating they really are, the urge to walk up and shake them is sometimes hard to control. Now, if any of the habits I am going to outline apply to you, please don’t take offense. Each and every one of us has had moments of weakness, perhaps more than we’d like to admit, but the point here is to try to reduce those instances as much as possible. It can be difficult to take a moment and consider how our actions are being received by our significant other and sometimes it is important to do what our gut tells us. However, when we let our wants take over, imminent disaster looms. The ClingerDo you expect him to spend every spare moment he has with you? Of course, when we finally find someone to care for, who cares about us, the most persistent want we have is to be with that person as much as possible. This is something we can’t control once our hormones get going. If you’re pulling constant temper tantrums because he needed to go home and sleep after a 14-hour shift at work instead of coming to see you, some adjustment is necessary. I struggle with this on a regular basis, so I totally understand the urge to sometimes put aside your common sense and wish that he’d just come by and give you a huge hug on a horrible day. But be reasonable! When you’re out with friends and you find yourself hanging off his arm at all times, ease up! He’s not going anywhere and if you feel like you have to keep an eye on him, chances are he’s not the right guy for you.The ComplainerLadies, did you know that sometimes, I mean, on random occasions, some of us have the tendency to nag? Not just at that time of the month (when it’s totally warranted), but some of us have the nasty habit of complaining about pretty much everything. Now, sometimes a little expression of disappointment is appropriate, but when you’re blaming him for the spots on your cutlery or the line up at the movie theatre, you’ve overstepped the bounds. I highly recommend that constant ranting about how annoying his friends are and any other unnecessary whining be cut out of your daily diet. This is not just important to save his sanity, but also yours. The more time you waste being upset about the negative things, the less you get to enjoy the amazing things!The WorrywartNow, anyone who knows me will immediately call me a hypocrite, since I’m the biggest worrywart in the world! However, I will be the first to admit, when you let your worries cloud the rest of your mind, your relationship will suffer. It’s difficult to put some of the larger issues in life aside, but there comes a time when even the biggest worrier (also known as me) needs to just STOP! Imagine waiting the whole day to finally see your special someone, then spending all your time together worrying about something that lies outside of your control. Once the test is done, put it out of your head. Try not to stress about the bills and work and all the not-so-great stuff life can bring. When you really NEED to talk about something, then of course, bring it forward to your other half, but try not to dwell on it so you don’t ruin your time together!The DoormatAll of this being said, ladies, the biggest mistake you could make would be to mute yourself entirely because of the guy you are seeing. There is no reason for you to bow down to his every wish, whim or desire. Being a doormat will get you absolutely nowhere, I assure you! It’s true that sometimes in order to keep a relationship functioning and happy, some adjustments to both of your personalities is necessary. Having your personality, your dreams and desires drowned out by an overbearing guy is not cool at all! Be strong and confident, because that’s who you are underneath it all. When you’re logical and work together, he will respect you and love you that much more. You can do it!____________________give and takeI will keep saying this until I am blue in the face: relationships are all about compromise and working together! We all have our moments of weakness and being human, you better believe we’re entitled to them! Sometimes it’s difficult to look past our initial feelings and try to work towards understanding. You need to talk about what lies behind your reaction. Is it really about him going out with the guys or is it about the argument you just had with your sister? The people we depend on for cheering up are often forced to brave the brunt of our lousiest moments and sometimes that’s hard to deal with. What’s important is finding the balance that works best for the two of you individually. Don’t compare him to your other boyfriends and don't let past heartbreaks jade you. Proceed with caution and please don’t lose yourself because you’ve found love!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008): Thanks for the great article.I am a worrywart myself.I need to change it very soon.
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reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be  +, writes (30 November 2008):
 13-15??? With writing of that quality? Now that's rare...
Interesting article... I see your point. All of them, actually. I can also see how this could help the guys out there, in a kind of reverse manner.
Thanks for the contribution: keep writing!
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