A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with a married man and we have been in this relationship for over 5 years. There is no question that he loves me. However, him and his wife own a corporate store together that he runs. He has told her about us and that he wants a divorce many times, but nothing ever happens. He says that he is afraid of losing everything that he has worked for. She on the other hand is hanging on for dear life. She tells him that if he leaves he will have nothing, which is enough to scare him. I love this man and I know that we both know we are meant to me. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): I am sorry but it sounds as if this guy is messing around with you big time. You have allowed him to do so, but no more! You need to be strong and tell him that you are not going to be sitting around waiting for him anymore. Tell him to not contact you again unless he has left his wife and have started divorce proceedings.
Start going out with friends and don't sit around waiting or crying about him. If he really loves you he will have to "chase" you and he will have to proof his love for you by making you the number one person in his life.
You are not going to be his handy and convenient sparewheel anymore.
Sorry, I know it hurts and I know it is difficult, but I want you to do what is best for your and your future happiness.
Good luck. Keep us posted.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did give him an ultimatium, many. Each time he justs comes back begging and telling me that we are the ones for each other. He says that he just wants my life to be perfect and he needs to figure out what to do with everything. He has said what he really wants to do is to move away. The problem is i quit my job to work with him at his store in May. Clearly, things have not worked out very well. I give him an untimatium about once a week, meaning that I am not talking to him. As you can see this makes it very hard to work with him. So therefore I don't have a job. I thought quitting my job would make us stronger and he begged me to quit. Now I just feel less valuable and I think he sees me as that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): Give him an ultimatum. Either he moves out, get divorce proceedings going or you will move on. If he does not do that, move on. You surely don't want to hang around being the sparewheel for the next 5 years. NO, don't believe all the stories, there are ways to deal with financial issues in a divorce. I honestly think he is having his bread buttered both sides. Think about yourself and your future.
You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): If they own this business together, I don't think legally she can take it all away. This sounds like a convenient excuse to me. My advice to you? Leave him. As long as he has both of you, he has no motivation to leave her. If indeed he does love you as much as you think and he's that unhappy in his marriage, he should have left her already. The absolute proof will be in what he does when faced with no longer having you. Sorry to be so blunt, but my guess is that soon you will be back in the dating market!
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