A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, My girlfriend moved out of state and asked me to join her which I did recently. She lives with her family and I live alone. We have been together for 3 years and a few months. She has been going to school full time and working a few nights a week. She told me that I was stressing her out and wanted a break until she was completely done with school. I responded saying I think you just need me to give you space, so I'll work on it, as you see I have no friends in this state and rely on her for company. A week later she told me she wanted to break up because she doesn't have time to save us and said she does not even think she's ever been in love with me. I just don't understand if this is true or if she is just blocking her love to focus on school. We planned on getting married and she asked me to move here so I can't see that she isn't in love with me. What should I do?
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female
reader, catsleeps  +, writes (30 October 2008):
give her some time and for yourself as well
you can roam around your new place and meet some new friends.
although you move there partially because of her, but that doesnt mean u can have your "own" life.
i think, partners tend to step back when you keep going to her/him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): 1. I wouldn't take it personally...It's always easier to makes others people issues with commitment your own dilemma...You're not the culprit here. Remember that.
2. I'd give her the time she wants...No one likes this part but it's necessary. The worst thing you could do is not respect her wishes. SPACE means SPACE. It may push her further away if you're pushy...
3. Look at it this way, this "break" is mutual. That is, the same way that she has acquired freedom, now you have time for you...Take this opportunity to learn more about yourself, explore different channels of your life, even rekindle old friendships and ties. Take advantage of it. Dwelling on the disappointment will get you no where...
All the above is easier said than done. I know how hard it is to not cling to someone who has meant so much. I just wouldn't get stagnant...If she really loves you, cliche as it may be, if sometimes meant to be, you'll be together again. But if, as she says she never loved you (that's something you can never answer...Feelings are internal), well there's nothing you can do but move on...
I wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, ggl777 +, writes (30 October 2008):
Hi
Me and my boyfriend have been going out fot 3years and we are kinda going threw the same thing. I love him but im not IN LOVE with him. I care for him and i like his company but still im not sure if this is the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with. i still feel like i want to meet other guys and i want to have fun..Im still with my boyfriend because i know that no one will ever love me like he does and maybe this is how your girlfriend feels.
well to make it simple..there are two things that might be happening with your girlfriend..
1.Your girlfriend migh have met someone else and thats why she wants a break or wants to meet other people because she is not done having fun
2.She really is stressed about school and wants some time off from you. she probably feels that she cant concentrate with tou always there.
Give her time and dont call her or see her..let her come to you.. she will be wondering why you havnt been looking for her..now if months pass and she doesnt contact you then im sorry but you should move on
hope this helped best of luck
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