A
female
age
18-21,
*hzelda
writes:I'm sixteen years old and my whole life I haven't really had a real crush, and I don't think anyone except one guy has actually liked me. This year, I have three guys that all seem to really like me.Guy #1: KI've known K for forever. His brother and my brother and good friends, and this year he decided to ask me to homecoming. I was told it was just as friends, but he definitely likes me more than that. He complimented me a lot at homecoming and his friends even called me his 'boo'. I don't like him though.Guy #2: SWe met last year and talked on and off throughout the year. This year we would always sit together in class and we were really getting along until K asked me to homecoming and started sitting by me in class. Now, S is super petty towards me but I know that if I started showing interest in him again he would start flirting with me again.Guy #3: TI've sort of known T for the last few years. My older sister has always thought he was cute, and last year they had a little thing. They were never really dating but they definitely made out and liked each other. Now T and I are talking and today we FaceTimed for two hours. He's so chill and we're into the same things. I told my sister that he liked me (bc he told one of my friends that he realllly really likes me) because 1, I thought she should know, and 2, it's kinda funny i guess? But she went off saying that he's gross and annoying and I can't date him. I told her that I'm not into him (even though I'm not sure if that's totally true) and she didn't believe me.Out of those three, maybe I would want to date T the most, but my sister is so against it. And would it be weird? Because he kind of dated my sister first?I don't know what I'm asking here. I guess just for some advice on what to do next. Thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2019): Your crush on T will pass. Give it time. Your relationship with your sister is for life. Don't jeopordize it by treating her feelings as irrelevant. Don't date the other two guys either because you don't like them. Wait for a guy you like, who hasn't been with your sister. Believe me he's out there.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (29 October 2019):
 What to do next? Enjoy the attention but never forget what you are worth.
None of these guys sounds like a great catch to me. Don't go out with any of them just to score points over your sister (I understand sibling rivalry but I fail to understand how dating someone who your sister had "a thing" about would be "kinda funny"). DEFINITELY never date someone you don't even like. And you can also do better than someone who turns petty because he hasn't got the guts to ask you out.
These three guys are just the START of you getting male attention. You don't NEED or HAVE to DO anything. In your shoes I would sit back and see who comes along who you like, who has no previous history with your sister and who acts in a more mature way that your petty friend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2019): First K is out just because you do not like him! Then S is a jealous little cry baby who stopped liking you because another guy sat beside you? Did he sit in Ss seat? If so, why did S not handle his business? If not, then whats the problem? Now, I want to tell you straight, the reason you thought that your sister should know that T likes you, is because you want to brag to her, and rub her nose in it, a little bit. When guys begin liking you it is easy to fall in to the trap of becoming a conceited hot commodity. I imagine that you are very pretty, but beauty is only skin deep! You probably have seen beautiful but conceited mean girls, at your school. They are gorgeous, and ugly to the core! Never become like one of them, and especially do not brag to your sister! She is your own blood, and trust me, nothing on earth is more valuable than loving family! Please just skip dating T! What if you two got serious? He made out with your own sister? Would you EVER trust them together alone? Just leave T alone. Xx
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (29 October 2019):
 You don’t like K, so not him.
You don’t say you like S either. He’s also petty, which is not going to change just because you start flirting or seeing him. He’s bad news.
T dated your sister, so it’s unwise to try being with him. “Keeping it in the family” is pretty “gross” and there may be a good reason your sister isn’t with him any more. You really don’t want to cause trouble between you and your sister just because of a guy.
I didn’t get my first boyfriend until I was 19 and I’m so happy I didn’t date any of the immature guys in school. Being pressured for sexual things? Not fun. Guys typically being selfish? Not nice. Heartache over boys? Not worth it. Rumours about what you have or haven’t done? Not easy to deal with.
Honestly, you don’t really like any of them and they don’t seem mature enough to be worth hanging out with. Give it time, OP - don’t rush growing up :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 October 2019):
 Ask her why she think he is gross.
My youngest dated a guy her Freshman year in HS. She dumped him when he started pressuring her for sex. He was DEFINITELY a "mistake" because she later admitted that she has only agreed to dating him because she was flattered that he liked her, but she was not really into him and often avoided him. Which... I found odd. Until she told me he kept mentioning sex. Her words for him was "gross". So who knows, maybe there is a REASON your sister calls him gross and it's worth asking her.
Dating an "ex" type guy of your sister's is weird, IMHO. Him wanting to date you is a little strange after he hit it off with your sister in the past.
You mention these 3 guys like they are your ONLY options. Guys who liked YOU first. Maybe you'd like to date T the most out of those 3... but maybe you really need to look at other options. So in my opinion, NONE of these guys.
K- because you don't REALLY like him.
S- because he is a dick. HE could have asked you to the homecoming if he really wanted to, but he didn't. Instead he acts like a dick because you went with someone else. How lane and entitled is that?!
And T because he is yesterdays news and your sister already made out with him. Don't make it Jerry Spring-esque.
I know High School is a big of a "little pond" when it comes to dating material. But BE REAL picky with whom you choose. Because it will follow you for the rest of your time in HS.
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