A
male
age
36-40,
*oloSW
writes:I am a 27 year old man who is also a virgin. I have never dated, never kissed never been in a relationship at all. All I have ever done is had cybersex and phonesex. If I ever do manage to meet a woman that wants to have sex with me I'm afraid I will fail miserably because I'm a virgin. Why would a woman even want to have sex with a man my age thats this inexperienced? I can't bring a woman pleasure because I have no idea what to do. Is there any hope for me?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 October 2011):
 DoubleM is right. The best way to flirt is to look into their eyes and smile. If they smile back the attraction is mutual. Then just talk and get to know her. Worst case scenario you have made a new friend who can introduce you to other women. Best case scenario you get a date.
It's a thing that takes practice, but ultimately you have to have confidence and believe in yourself. Believe that you are attractive, believe that you can give of yourself to a woman. And believe that even if you have a few fights or ups and downs, everyone does, and that doesn't mean you aren't worthwhile. No one is perfect, and the women you date will never be perfect either. But that doesn't mean a relationship can't work out.
Believe in yourself and don't give up, fight for what you want to have in your life.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (21 October 2011):
 You wrote, "I don't even know how to flirt properly."
Just smile, dude! Not too hard to do. Don't leer or grin like an idiot, just smile nicely. Give eye contact, and you do not even need to say very much. Let the girl do the talking. Be sure to look into her eyes. If she hesitates to talk, just ask a few simple questions. Be nice, but also act confident, even if you are only acting like it. Trust me, it works if you apply that simple advice. Just be yourself!
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A
male
reader, SoloSW +, writes (21 October 2011):
SoloSW is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to find a relationship with a woman, but I'm really shy and socially anxious. I'm not very much confidence and I feel I am a very strange and awkward. Its not that women haven't been attracted to me but I have no idea how to return that attraction. I don't even know how to flirt properly.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): I'm 26, female, never even kissed or been on a date. If I ever date anybody I would prefer him to not have much experience, being a virgin like me would be perfect.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (19 October 2011):
"If I ever do manage to meet a woman that wants to have sex with me I'm afraid I will fail miserably because I'm a virgin"
Being a virgin doesn't automatically make you a bad lover. A good lover is someone who looks out for his partner, is eager to please her, is genuinely interested in her body and loves the way she looks naked. If you can do those things then the rest will come by itself.
Why so concerned about finding a woman who will have sex with you though, why isn't your main goal to find someone to be in a relationship with?? That's what I find more odd. Someone at your age should be past the stage where all they want is to hook up and get laid. You're an adult now, at our age most women would want a man who can commit, not someone who just wants sex.
So why have you never kissed someone or been in a relationship?
I wouldn't push the cart before the horse if I were you. Work on establishing a relationship with a woman before you worry about pleasuring this woman in bed. As for now there is no woman you need to worry about pleasuring, so do not waste your time worrying about it until you actually have a real woman in your life.
Could you try to explain why you aren't pursuing a real relationship?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (19 October 2011):
It is never too late, but as the previous advisors suggest, man up and trust in yourself. Many women may prefer someone less experienced. Just be yourself, be friendly and smile. And when you see a wink, a coy smile or get a little touch from a girl, respond with a simple something like, "Hello. How are you?" It's a start. You do not need a fancy line . . .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): You should man up.
You should also figure out what your priorities are- are you looking for a relationship, or are you just worried you'll never get laid?
If its the latter, you could always hire a hooker.
If its the former, then you should have confidence in yourself, put yourself out there, and go on with your day. Women can smell desperation from miles away but are attracted to men who have self-esteem.
There is probably nothing holding you back except for your sense of self-worth. So when your sense of self-worth rises, so will the chances of meeting awesome women.
....and when you do meet the woman of your dreams, make sure you don't fall into the 'I was nice to her, so she owes me something' trap.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Off course there is hope for you, but first you need to work on your confidence and stop putting yourself down, believe it or not there are woman out there who are looking for a man who has not slept around with other girls. Yes I can understand that you are scared as you don't know how to please a woman in the bedroom department but believe me all you need to do is ask a woman what they like and they will soon show you. Practice makes perfect, so once the right woman comes along, she will understand and enjoy practising with you am sure. Your still only young. Gain some confidence and start looking for that woman of your dreams. Good luck.
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