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26 year old man 18 year old female... WRONG ?????

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 January 2011) 13 Answers - (Newest, 19 January 2011)
A male United States age 36-40, *Jlove2011 writes:

26yr old Male, interested in 18yr old female

O.k. so their is this very cute girl who works at a local coffee shop, I have been interested in her for some time now. She beat me to the punch, by friending me of Facebook. We have been talking for a couple of days now, we have kissed a couple times. I really like her and what she is about, I have been in long relationships my whole life, so I guess you can say Im experienced. \

Couple of things I am worried about is age!

Is 8 years to much?

Being Im 26 and shes 18(just turned 18 in december). She cant drink, gamble or do anything adultish. Another thing is I don't want to come across to experienced to her, as I like fine dining, and doing romantic things, and i do know if it will be to much for her.

She says she is totally comfortable with me and how and what we are. But in the back of my mind the age is killing me.

When I am 30 she will just be turning 21.

Can anyone help ????

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011):

experience is not relative to age. It can come at any time and it is how you use it that really matters. I look back to the past and do not regret anything because I feel that I have learned a little from every experience, good or bad. I'm willing to help with any knowledge I have and believe that anyone who tries is doing the right thing.

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (19 January 2011):

angelDlite agony aunthi

if you like her and she likes you why not give it a chance? you will soon know when you start going out if you are compatible or not. i wouldn't write it off just because of her age. some 18 year olds act are more mature than others, same with 26 year olds, same with any age in fact

xx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011):

I'm 29 and met a woman a year ago who is now 19, I'm totally and completely in love with her.

It may be a problem it may not, It will be a problem if you make it a problem but if you don't try you'll never know... If people want to be critical thats their karma. As the first response says she likes you, you like her.... That sounds like a winning formula to me!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011):

It's nothing wrong with it, she's of age and if you like her go for it! Me and my bf is 13yrs apart I'm 20 and he's 33 and I love our relationship, wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

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A female reader, Mickey1452 United States +, writes (19 January 2011):

Wow eight years is kinda much for ur age yah I think 5 years at the most srry but age is just a number and do whatever u want just follow ur heart

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (19 January 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony aunt18 to 26 is big.

30 to 36 is not...

my daughter is 18 and her bf is 22 and sometimes it's huge for them.

BUT I'm 50 and my hubby is 39 and it's perfect....

age is just a number.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011):

Also... such a relationship with ages like yours would not even raise an eyelid.

Flynn 24

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011):

In my country (Australia) you can drink, gamble, fight a war, have sex (from age 16) and see R rated movies by 18.

We figure, if you are old enough to fight in a war with the armed forces, then you are old enough to have beer when you come home.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, dmartin89 United Kingdom +, writes (18 January 2011):

dmartin89 agony auntNo.

I'm 21, my OH is 34. We met when I was 19.

Best decision of my life :-)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011):

I think you should go for it. I was in the same situation when I met my Girlfriend. She is 19 and I am 29. Age is not really important what is important is Maturity. Go do what you would normally do.. Cinema, Dinner, theatre etc and see how it goes. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months now, I am European, she American and we have been back and forward to each other. Our Families like us both and people have told us we are great together. I am obviously a bit immature for my age and she is very mature! What have you got to lose? Go for it...!

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A female reader, NorthByNorthwestt United States +, writes (18 January 2011):

I don't think you should think of this as a guaranteed longterm relationship. One, because you'll over analize things. And two, Think about how you were 6 years ago, and how you've changed in that time. You're both going to change, because you're both on different levels of life expirience. But that's not to say you shouldn't go for it. You never know, things could turn out perfectly and you two could be happy together for a long time. The age factor, really shouldn't be the one main concern, because age definately is just a number, and everyone's different in the time it takes to learn to control themselves and be mature. Follow your gut on this one. If it doesn't work out, that's just life. But you'll nevr know.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (18 January 2011):

chigirl agony auntI'd say the age gap isn't too much actually. But, there's a but. You said she's not old enough to do anything yet such as drinking, or gamble or be an adult. Not that she'd gamble much anyway, I doubt, but the point is that you'd be limited. If she and you were in a country where at 18 she was considered adult by law and could do everything, then it'd be ok. But now she's still considered minor in many ways, not to mention you probably met her when she was only 17 which is way too young for a 25 year old. At 18 though people tend to start growing up a bit, especially girls. So, depending on the relation between the two of you it could be ok, or it could be unacceptable. If you're a pig and only want her because she's a youngster it'd be unacceptable, you know? If you genuinely like her, you and her get along etc, and she genuinely likes you back, 8 years at 18 and 26 isn't half bad. It's tolerable.

But like I said, it's the part where she will limit your adult life that is a problem. Simply because you wouldn't be able to do things with her that you'd normally do in a relationship, and it could feel awkward. At what age would she be legal to do all sorts of grown up activity? 21? 20?

It's up to you what you want to do and how much you like her, and if you're able to walk away. But if you like fine dining... you should be able to be in a relationship where you can be yourself and enjoy fine dining, not one where you worry constantly about what would be too much and trying to act younger than your age. I say, if she wants to be with you she'll have to accept that you're an adult and if it's fine dining you like then she should accompany you to that. If she doesn't feel like she fits into that scene then she's probably not the one for you.

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A female reader, Mama C United States +, writes (18 January 2011):

Why agonize? She likes you, you like her...Take your time.

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